100% of all St Neots year 6 pupils got their first choice secondary school, it was revealed today. County, District and town councillors were cock waving all day on the results. “You see, us Tory councillors have it all worked out,” said Larry Hackman. “Whoever said that my County and District counterparts were running the area... »
Latest Story
Huntingdon No Longer Eating All The Pies
Residents of our neighbour to the north today expressed upset and dismay that St Neots seems to be roaring ahead of the former county town of late. Huntingdon is now... »
Anglian Announces Glow-In-The-Dark Water
Anglian Water today announced plans to introduce glow-in-the-dark water to the region. The move came following plans by a local landfill operator to accept debris from dismantled nuclear power stations,... »
Tories Love Carparks Best
Conservative town councillors today showed the world – and the Lib Dems – that they are most committed to saving our free car park at the Riverside, by moving... »
Councillor sticks one up The Citizen
In an extraordinary turn of events anonymous anti-social self-thinking Councillor Terrence Dougall, who is currently the subject of a restraining order, has made sense. The Citizen offices were today struck... »
Katie Hart – Comment from the Citizen Editor
Many of you will have read of the case of Katie Hart, the 19-year-old girl from Little Paxton convicted of dangerous driving and sent to prison, following an accident... »
CEO Caught Short
The St Neots toilet closures have claimed their first high profile casualty. HDC CEO Davis Munts was seen fleeing Barrtts department store using obscene language after trying to use the cafe toilet... »
St Neots Residents Discriminated Against
The recent decision by UK security agencies to install full body scanners at airports could unfairly jeopardise the travelling plans of St Neots residents. The machines, which measure 5′ square,... »
Carpark Sponsored By Tesco
Tesco has won the sponsership deal to the Eaton Socon Car park. That car park was closed by councillors recently due to it’s bad state. The current sponsors St Mary’s... »
St Neots Declares Independence!
A group of councillors and locals calling themselves the “St Neots Popular Front” today declared independence from the UK. The new People’s Liberal-Conservative Democratic Socialist Republic of St Neots will... »
Rowdy Councillors – Must Be Election Time
The recent ceasefire on local forums and letters to local newspapers involving our town councillors is offically over. Which means it must be election time. Recent posts on forums have... »
Councillors Forced Apart
Warring Tory and Lib Dem town councillors were this week told that as they cannot play nicely, they were going to be kept separate from now on. St Neots will... »
Councillor Breaches Restraining Order
Within just days anti-social self-thinking Councillor Dougall has breached the court order forbidding him to engage in any form of public thinking. Commenting on a sensitive and delicate case, the... »
Conservationists Up In Arms Over Car Park
Local historians and conservationists were today up in arms following a recent town council decision to repair the church car park in Eaton Socon. The car park has been in... »
St Neots Lynch Mob – Annual Dinner Dance
This year’s annual dinner dance of the St Neots Lynch Mob and Glee Club will take place at The Little Thief Restaurant at the Black Cat Roundabout. “This will give... »
Mystery Chav Gets Restraining Order
A mysterious chav who no-one can name or identify has been handed a restraining order to ensure he stays the fuck out of Dodge. In fact, commenters on a local... »
