No-One Surprised As Club Doesn't Open
St Neots’ newest “night venue”, Worx, did not open as planned last Friday, surprising exactly no-one.
Local papers were quick to pun the fact that building worx had over-run. General manager Leanne Hack said, “Well yeah obviously we are disappointed. Mainly cos we’re gonna charge people a fiver to get in, so we’re losing valuable money all the time we’re closed.”
The club, run by Teeth-Moss Entertainment, who also own the Warehouse – or whatever it’s called this week – will now open this Friday.
Local binge-drinkers were feeling let down as the club announced the delay on Facebook, but no-one was surprised. “Teeth-Moss have been saying in all the local papers that it’ll DEFINITELY, without doubt, be ready to open on the 11th,” said Polly Kerman of Berkley Street, “so it was fairly obvious they wouldn’t be.”
“It’s a shame,” added Chris Durbur, of Queens Gardens, “as I was lookin forward to gettin in a scrap an shovin someone thru them big windows.”
Venue The Warehouse across the road will be turned into an American diner-style bar and grill when Worx finally opens. The new venue will be, according to one local rag, “St Neots’ only nightclub,” despite Teeth-Moss’ constant claims that it’s “not a club, it’s a night venue.”
Apparently this means that you can buy coffee and cake at one in the morning, but the Citizen is not sure whether a piece of cake will sit well with fifteen bottles of blue WKD and three Jaeger-Bulls, especially since the club will charge an entry fee, which is sure to mean that a maximum of three people are inside at any one time.
The Citizen will of course be attending the opening, and thinking up puns revolving around the name Worx, so that we can feel like all the other local rags.
Paaaaaaa funny shit man
Thanks Dave
This club will be empty…….
The chavs of St Neots vocabulary does not extend to
I’m going to Worx
bada
Does that mean when the chavs are collecting their dole money they can hand on heart say,
I have been to worx
That’s exactly what it means, brilliant.
I’m definitely not surprised at this, man, what a poor state of affairs. Nothing in St Neots ever finishes on time.
i still find it funny that they called it the worx and its in the old job centre lol didnt it used to be a night club years ago as my brother in law who is now 55 used to do the disco there when he was younger
Oh come on, Worx will be different to this town! Like Shotz, Ethos and Warehouse.
That was possibly the worst most unbalanced, uninformed peice of writing I have had the displeasure of reading in a long time.
Care to elaborate?