First Drive-Thru Pub Opens In St Neots
Eaton Socon pub the Waggon & Horses has become the UK’s first drive-thru pub, attracting controversy from anti-drink-drive campaigners.
“Well,” said Peter Guinness, a spokesman for Pubmaster, “We noticed a lack of drive-thru’s in St Neots in general and realised that this was a great location! People love a drive-thru, the lazy buggers.”
On Sunday night, Pubmaster arranged for a drunken chav in a Nova to drive into the side of the pub, creating a large hole in the wall of the centuries-old hostelry. Guinness said, “Obviously no-one was going to accept planning permission for this, especially on a listed building, so we had to make it look like an accident. Then we can just get retrospective. Also people weaving across the road to drive into the building will help with traffic calming.”
It is thought the work, which has led to the Great North Road being closed for two days, will be completed by the end of the week, allowing people to order a pint without leaving the comfort of their family saloons and Chelsea tractors. “I for one love it,” said town council leader Derek Miles. “It’ll mean less drink driving actually, as people will just get one pint and drive away with it, rather than having two or three and then thinking it’s a good idea to drive home using just their knees.”
Conservative councillor Paul Marcel initially said the same, but upon hearing Miles’ point of view instantly began to argue. “It’s just like that fat-headed twerp to support an idea like this,” he ranted. “This drive-thru pub is a joke and will just mean that the Friday Night boy-racers will have an extra pit stop on their never-ending laps of the town.”
Friday night boy racer Kevin Wayne disagreed however. “Ain’t gonna spend three quid on a pint in the drive thru when I can get three litres of White Lightening for £1.99 am I?” he slurred. “As for them two councillors – grow up.”
