St Neots Town Council today admitted that the proposed “Green Suburb” near Loves Farm was a non-starter. A spokesman said, “B&Q just don’t have that much green paint.” The DIY giant said that they would be happy to [Click to read more...]
The Citizen can exclusively report that “fragile” Councillor D Miles, 55, was yesterday escorted from the parapet of the town bridge by paramedics and police after being spotted by passers-by ranting and raving at no one in particular. [Click to read more...]
Scientists at CERN, the Swiss research facility responsible for the failed Big Bang Machines, have stunned St Neots residents by revealing that the town may not, as was previously believed, be the absolute centre of the universe. During an incident [Click to read more...]
It has been revealed that the propsed expansion of St Neots is part of an attempt to obtain finally get the much needed dualling of the A428. During a press conference Councillor Miles said, “In order to convince central government that the [Click to read more...]
Motorists speeding along Nelson Road are in for a shock. The council is installing the first ‘road points’ system. Those exceeding the limit will find the road switched to an exit ramp joining the A1 Councillor Steven Bakander said “They will [Click to read more...]
In an apparent bid to sway public opinion in favour of the the Town Council and copy the current tactics of the Nu-Labour government, Council leader Derek Miles, speaking at the party’s monthly conference today, decided honesty was the best [Click to read more...]
St Neots Town Council today denied reports that the Eynesbury On The Up campaign was anything to do with stilts and Oceans Twelve. Recent advertisements for an event Ernulf this weekend say that “Eynesbury is on the up and local residents, [Click to read more...]
The cohesive spirit of Europe has never been better exemplified than the twinning of the trendy new cosmopolitan Eynesbury with St Tropez, in the south of France. Councillors are eagerly packing their bags for the inaugural exchange visit, however [Click to read more...]
The national furore over the lyrics to American hot babe and vocaliser and songstress Katy Perry’s tune, “I Kissed A Girl” has finally hit St Neots. Local defender of standards and former town councillor Bob Topshelf, 91, said, [Click to read more...]
The BBC today announced that its popular show Dragons Den will be relocated to a farm just outside Ramsey – and renamed Dragons Fen. The TV Dragons, all millionaires, currently convene weekly in a London warehouse with an pointless economics [Click to read more...]
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