Shock Fact Found On Fact Finding Mission
A delegation of councillors visiting twin town Faches-Thumesnil on a “fact-finding mission” have discovered a shocking fact – the very act of which has also shocked them.
St Neots Twinning Association exists so that local councillors and do-gooders can go on free holidays to France and get in the local rags both here and across the Channel.
But a recent trip to Faches-Thumesnil, which is in fact a suburb of Lille, close to the Belgian border, turned up a surprise for District Councillor Gordon Harp and his colleagues when the French revealed that recycling was “nothing to do with bikes.”
Peter Nerpler, 42, of Chawston Close, who is also a member of the twinning assocation, said, “I’ve always found it a bit odd that Hunts DC’s recycling lorries just tip everything in together. In fact, the blue bins themselves are just normal household waste, minus food.” Having been informed that recycling involves the remanufacturing of old packaging into new, Nerpler decided to investigate last year. “I went to the state-of-the-art recycling facility, somewhere in the Fens, and discovered that recycling actually involved putting all the rubbish in a trailer attached to a pushbike, and riding it around the building twice.
“The rubbish then gets collected to go to landfill.”
However, when the junket visited Faches, they were surprised to discover not a single bike at the local recycling depot. “It appears my first idea of what recycling is was correct,” chuckled Nerpler. “Well I never! I was red in the face I can tell you!”
Huntingdonshire District Council denied the rumours, and issued a statement saying “We’re happy with the way we carry out recycling, and this faggoty French way of doing it is just not on. We also disbelieve claimes that this is how other councils recycle.”
Lille Metropole’s president Martine Le Clerc said, “Ces anglais sont putain de ridicule. Faches-Thumesnil n’est même pas une ville, c’est une sanglante banlieue. Wankers.”
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Story by DDT
