Archive for October, 2008

Citizen Editor Tim C today announced that he would be away for the weekend for a family wedding. “Don’t worry though,” he said, “Normal service will be resumed on Monday.” »

A St Neots man with too much time on his hands recently recreated his perfect Eighties party, in honour of his guitar-wielding hero Mark Knopffler. He started the party in his back yard, at his back gate, by showing people the “party cup” and explaining, “That ain’t the best part baby – just wait.”... »

A local man was shocked last week when the Town Crier lied to him. Pete Jenkins, 34, of The Hives, picked up his free copy of the Town Crier from his doormat to be greeted with a full wrap-around advertisement for a local VW dealership. However, Jenkins was surprised to discover that the advert... »

Due to a shortage of burial plots the latest advice from the council is “don’t die yet”. The town council refused to pay for 10 acres of burial land after the price doubled.  Counillor Miles said, “How anyone can expect us to pay twice the price when house prices are falling is ridiculous.  Over... »

Hot on the heals of the Town Council’s hugely profitable and highly successful (possibly) 851 screen cinema complex, St Neots is set to become the country’s premier outdoor real snow ski resort. Based on the work of local climatologist Hayley Weston (19), St Neots’ location in the centre of the country will see it... »

It seems that not only racing drivers from old, lined up in Huntingdon with the racing pedigree of Lola Cars. Local chav Wayne Thursday and his chavette girlfriend Madison were there too. When asked how he felt about being in the lineup Wayne replied, “Took a wrong turning did’n I. Me, Mad and my pug were... »

The St Neots Citizen finally resumed publishing today after St Neots successfully escaped from the 1950′s. The town had been stuck in the past for over a week following a small power cut. Local man Danny Saunders, 22, said he did not enjoy his Wednesday evening after both Virgin and Sky services failed, leaving... »

Following on from the power cut which briefly sent parts of St Neots into the 19th century, surrounding areas have claimed they too can recreate the past. Some Little Paxton residents claimed they were able to recreate a time when computers weren’t as frequently used easily.  One local said “We’re working on recreating the... »

Yesterday a power cut affecting about 1811 homes and businesses recreated the past by forcing people not to use computers or other electronics. Local shop workers had mixed views, with some complaining about having to think more, whilst others were delighted about having an excuse to go home early. A quick thinking spokesman for the... »

Luke Street resident Dave Elsan, 19, was today said to be relieved after banking group Santander, who own Abbey, purchased failed Bradford & Bingley. B&B this week became the latest victim of the banking crisis, following swiftly behind Lehman Brothers and HBOS; and was broken up for sale. “I was petrified,” said Elsan. “The... »