Company Begs Council To Reconsider
Northampton-based traffic calming company Dog’s Bollards has begged St Neots Town Council to consider traffic calming Nelson Road as a priority.
The firm supplies and installs speed humps, barriers and bollards, mini roundabouts and all other types of traffic calming, as well as traffic lights and cycle lanes.
But the economic downturn has hit Dog’s Bollards hard, and they are in desperate need of some new clients. “We’ve made a mint off St Neots in the past,” said managing director Vladimir Jones, “and the cash brought in by schemes such as Berkley Street – where we followed the council’s plans despite knowing that they would cause residential flooding and therefore requiring an expensive reworking – has always seen us through the quiet periods.”
With the credit crunch starting to be “a real ball-twister”, though, Jones said his company was having to fight for new orders. “After all our quality work in your town over the years, including the High Street speed bumps, the Eatons traffic-calmed area and the Eynesbury Manor ‘nipple’ roundabouts – not to mention the Crosshall Road pelican crossing – we thought we could count on the contract for Nelson Road in 2009.” But the Council revealed only today that it plans to postpone consultation on the scheme until things pick up financially.
“We’re hearing a similar story all over the country,” said economics spokesman and Dragon’s Den presenter Evan Davis. “Councils are putting off work on ‘added-value’ projects such as traffic calming residential streets with no history of fatalities or near-misses, and concentrating their efforts on areas with an actual problem.”
He added, “Only last week Woolworths announced it was to close after nearly a hundred years on our High Streets. Some say this is due to people shopping online as they are concerned about getting mown down by any vehicles not forced to stay below 9mph. Personally I think that’s a load of shit, but don’t quote me.”
Meanwhile, Dog’s Bollards denied that Collingwood Road resident Gordon Bennett was a “plant” designed to stir up public feeling towards a traffic calming scheme. “Clearly,” said Vlad Jones, “If we were going to plant someone in St Neots we’d use someone who is actually intelligent.” No-one from the Council was available to comment.
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