Archive for January, 2009

Town Council Not Sitting On Fence

Saturday, January 24th, 2009

Town councillors have demanded that the County Council take action in repairing the broken fencing along part of Cambridge Street. The call for action to be taken on the fencing comes amidst concerns that it is dangerous and makes the are look more unsightly.  The Town Council have been keen to point out it... »

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Eynesbury Razed To Ground While Cops Natter

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009

Urban St Neots Eastside wasteland Eynesbury was set fire to last Monday evening. Beginning in a half full blue wheelie bin, the fire quickly took hold and burnt out the last 3 remaining working motors in Mallard Lane. From then on it was difficult to tell which was derelict property and which had been... »

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Confusion As Entire Country Does Not Move Into Town Centre

Saturday, January 10th, 2009

A spokesman for the Icelandic government today announced that the entire country was not packing up and relocating to empty local Woolworths stores. Prime Minister Geir Haarde’s aide Olaaf Davesson re-iterated earlier statements that the country, and it’s population, was staying put. “I am as acutely aware as the rest of Europe,” said Davesson,... »

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Leaked Report Reveals Nothing About Christmas Lights

Saturday, January 10th, 2009

A long-awaited report from the Health & Safety Executive regarding 2007's Christmas lights incident, in which a pedestrian was struck by half a ton of metal falling from above the High Street, contains absolutely no new information. The report, which the Council have been awaiting for a year now, was expected to conclude the H&SE's... »

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Woolworths To Become New Shopping Concept

Friday, January 2nd, 2009

Word on the street in St Neots is that Woolies is to make way for an all-in-one shopping complex, the like of which the town has never seen. Beatty Broadband, of the Chinese Whispers Distribution Depot (now incorporating the St Neots Rumour Mill) limited, said that the company had been keeping a tab on all... »

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