Decision To Stop Making Decisions Nearly Taken
Collusion between otherwise opposing sides of St Neots public representatives has virtually disabled The Citizen, The Citizen can exclusively reveal.
Almost overnight all parties, including most local papers, have collectively decided to stop making decisions about anything remotely important and will instead concentrate their efforts on deciding which colour cat should be reported missing next.
Even then a full decision will not be reported until days after the event when perhaps something less important might be headline news.
Council Leader Bereck Omiler said “This a victory for us all. Now none of us can ever be accused of doing anything wrong ever again. I don’t know why we didn’t think of it before.” He added “We intend to make this an integral part of the Town Council’s responsibilities, however we’ll not be taking that decision just yet!”
Opposition spokesperson Paul Marcel voiced his party’s support. “This is long overdue and frankly it’s a simple way to avoid any future confusion. We won’t be making any decisions for a bloody long time!”
Oi!! editor Thundopolus P. Staker was also shocked at the downturn for his journal too, “Our chavs need stupid decisions, it’s what makes them so volatile.”
Rumours that this policy is the work of the secretive St Neots think-tank “The 1966 Society” have been strongly denied.
