Aliens Abduct Entire Town Council
Keen watchers of Town Council politics cannot fail to have noticed the recent absence of activity amongst its members. The usual high profile civic campaigns; dodgy fences, purple-headed bollards, 2ft high bumps in the road to name a few, have quietly disappeared from our pages.
Claims that they’ve been “told” to reign their necks in by their political leaders after several daft comments on a well known local website are dismissed as “not funny enough” by commentators. Instead speculators have proposed a number of more realistic options about where our representatives have gone.
Top of the list is the high probability that the majority of Town Council members have been subjected to an alien abduction. Local twins, Lil and Greta Paxton, who share a lifelong passion for astronomy, reported seeing “strange lights in the sky” last month just before the disappearance.
Greta told The Citizen “We was coming out of The Anchor on a Tuesday night when Lil went arse over tit. While she was flat out she told me the world was spinning and there were bright pink lights over her head.”
“I immediately put 2 and 2 together and can categorically state that all our councillors are currently being probed by aliens.”
The Citizen, as ever, thinks this to be a highly probable and profitable headline maker and we back the women’s claims.
ET had gone home and was unavailable for comment.
