Archive for July, 2009

Councillor Caught Thinking

Sunday, July 19th, 2009
Councillor Caught Thinking

In a Citizen exclusive we can reveal that local Councillor Terrence Dougall has been caught "thinking for himself." In a move that will shock many, not least his constituency party, Mr Dougall has finally followed through his intention to use his own brain for "working stuff out." Last week, in an unprecedented move, Mr Dougall... »

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Local Chavs "Confused, Lost and Lonely" says Social Worker

Sunday, July 12th, 2009
Local Chavs "Confused, Lost and Lonely" says Social Worker

Dee Dington, a local nosey cow social worker has stepped into the row over the ever shrinking facilities for youth in the Town. "It really is horrific. First we refuse to provide multi-screen cinemas, health spas and sports facilities every 300 yards. Then we shut the only place where our deprived youngsters can binge... »

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History Repeats As Venues Go Back In Time

Saturday, July 11th, 2009
History Repeats As Venues Go Back In Time

Following last month’s closure of the highly unpopular night venue Worx, former manager Ian Yoshimi has surprised no-one by delaying the re-launch of Worx’s predecessor, Shotz/The Warehouse/The King’s Head/Stripes/Something Else. This week it was announced with much fanfare that the formerly popular venue, closed down by Teeth-Moss Entertainment in favour of the rubbish club... »

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Hole Appears In High Street

Saturday, July 11th, 2009
Hole Appears In High Street

A large hole has appeared in the centre of St Neots, causing concern and outrage amongst local traders. The hole materialised over night last week and there was initially some confusion amongst local councillors that it might be the same one that had been existing for some time, undetected in the Town Council’s budget. Cllr Julia... »

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