Pam Ayers To Hand Out Tamiflu
The Priory Centre may have found another use, in an emergency meeting this week the Town Council were told that should an epidemic arise in St Neots then the Priory Centre would be the distribution hub.
Those concerned about Swine Flu can send a flu buddy to collect the medication. It was also revealed that celebrities such as Chas and Dave and Pam Ayers would be helping if the need arose during their time in the town.
Town Council Terrence Dougall, thinking for himself, said “I am pleased we have found another use for the Priory and a celebrity hand out of pills will certainly bring the punters in.”
Another Town Councillor, Steve van de Steven commented that a celebrity hand out of pills was something to be viewed with caution, citing past Ibiza holidays.
Chas and Dave were contacted on their world tour in Slough and said they would be honoured to sign packets as they were handed out and thought how nice it was that people would appreciate it more than a tired collection of their shite cockney shanties.
Pam Ayres, famous poet and raconteur famous for winning “Opportunity Knocks” and fine works such as “Dolly on the Dustcart” and “I wish I’d looked after me Teeth” was unavailable for comment but was apparently excited.
Pam, who lives in her secluded pig farm near the Somerset Levels, was reputedly penning a poem about St Neots; however, this cannot be confirmed.
The poem was reportedly likely to be something along these lines:
“Them folks in St Neots are always a wheeze,
But I’m fuckin off if I hear a sneeze.”
Story by Adam Douglas
