Illiterate Chavs Confuse "McDonalds" With "Decent Shops"
Stupid local chavs today proved themselves to be slightly thicker than previously thought, by confusing a fast-food outlet with high-quality retail emporia.
St Neots “rude boy” Marly T. Murphy failed to engage brain before mouth, and leaked the following badly-spelled statement onto the otherwise pristine St Neots forum: “weve got a kfc why havnt we got a mc donalds in the town yet,this place needs to get with it and get some decent shops like next and that.does anyone agree”
Forum regulars – otherwise known mostly as normal people – were taken aback by the outburst. The Citizen’s associate Oi!! Magazine editor, Mr Thundopalous P. Staker, esq., said, “It made my fucking eyes bleed reading that.
“We’re all used to the occasional new chav learning how to navigate away from Bebo and vomiting the contents of their feeble brain all over our local sites, but this really took the piss.”
Other regulars pointed out to Mr Murphy that perhaps McDonalds could not exactly be classed as a “decent shop”, to which he replied “ruavegie mate mcdsissoooogood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” The Citizen’s translators were completely lost at this point, but think that “ruavegie” roughly tanslates as “please help me, I am far too daft to be allowed to walk the streets and therefore must consume my own body-weight in mechanically-recovered meat until I can no longer leave the house.”
However at this point Mr Murphy went quiet. It is thought the 1-key came off his keyboard and the thought of a post without exclaimation marks drove him to take his own worthless Burberry-clad life.
