Monday Opinions: What’s Pissing You Off This Week
In a new recurring series that will run as long as we can be bothered with it, the Citizen went out and about in St Neots over the weekend to find out what is getting your backs up this week.
Local resident pulls a scary "I'm Angry" face
Number one on your hitlist is still the debacle over the St Neots cinema. Despite the fact that cinemas are run by private businesses, not local councils, the general population is still insisting that our represntatives “give us something for a change instead of Huntingdon”.
“Piss take innit,” rambled Eynesbury man Darren Durban, 19, of the Broadwalk. “I can’t drive to Huntingdon to go to see the new Disney, erm, I mean, Tarantino film because I haven’t passed my test, so that to me says a cinema in St Neots would make loads of cash.
“I appreciate councils don’t normally run these sorts of enterprises but maybe they could use profits to offset the frankly ridiculous amounts of council tax my benefits pay each month.”
Also on the Eastside is the hotly-contested issue of what to do with the £70,000 up for grabs in association with slum landlords Luminus.
The Voice Your Choice event, in association with Eynesbury Neighbourhood Management Committee (ENMAC) is asking for suggestions from Eastside residents, so our intrepid reporter A.J. Oke ventured into the badlands to find out, as they say, “wha gwan”.
Taylor Woodrow, 13, from Duck Lane, said that her and her friends “would love mobile charging points at bus stops, so we can play tinny R&B sounds through our rubbish speakers while our boyfriends smash the fuck out of the shelters.” Dave Darko of Andrew Road, meanwhile, thought the £70k would be better spent on “somewhere we can buy cheap WKD an’ that yeah innit bruv.”
Continuing the theme of council cash being used for things it shouldn’t, Jerry and Pauline Meghane, of Sandfields Road, suggested “somewhere we can palm the kids off to would be nice, so we can watch Jeremy Kyle in peace,” while neighbour Kev Stevenson, 19, suggested “more bike racks, as the last one I ‘found’ had a buckled wheel innit.”
Hattie Jackson, 50, of Ream Close said that she couldn’t possibly get involved as she is “from Eynesbury Manor, darling, certainly not Eynesbury,” while finally Emily Banks-Banks, 20, of Eaton Ford chipped in “£70 grand? Is Eynesbury being rebuilt then?”
Finally, the town’s planned super-surgery came under the spotlight again as Malling Health was granted planning permission to use the long-empty Rosebys store, on Moores Walk, as a late-night doctors emporium.
“It’s shite is what it is,” said Toseland resident James Newlyn, 59. “I’ll have to drive into St Neots to see a doctor, I mean really it is too much.”
Also conveniently forgetting that most villages have no doctors anyway, Duloe woman Patricia Benetar, 48, said “if my fucking leg drops off I’m not waiting for an ambulance, my doctor must be local so I can call on him – or her, I suppose there are female doctors nowadays – any time.”
“We feel everyone has missed the point,” said NHS spokesman Phillip Morris Marlboro. “The super surgery is an EXTRA surgery, we aren’t amalgamating all the existing doctors into it. Although if everyone keeps pissing and moaning about it, frankly that might be a good idea.”
Interviews by AJ Oke and Citizen Editor
