Unknown hoodies this week made sure St Neots lived up to it’s regional – and indeed now national – reputation as “a bit of a shithole” by stamping a small dog to death. Not content with rumours that the town is made up of inter-marrying cousins, and that the clap is airbourne in Eynesbury, Eastside... »
Local historians were today hailing the recent radar mapping of the old Priory site a success having discovered several important artefacts. Unearthed Artefacts dating back over 500 years were removed from the site to be catalogued at the nearby Council offices. Famous local historian Henry Tibbett commented, “We have found the remains of sticky carpet, a... »
Lib Dem councillor Terrence Dougall has made headlines by demanding Abbey provide access for mums with pushchairs. Self-thinking councillor Dougall, 62, got involved after a post on st-neots.co.uk which whinged about the difficulty climbing three steps to get into the bank, both for parents with buggies and wheelchair users. One mother, who very much enjoys the... »
Hinchingbrooke and Addenbrookes hospitals have revealed a brilliant new plan to cut A&E waiting times, with the help of rumoured-to-be-local Expert Scientists, CERN. While waiting times have fallen dramatically in the last few years, NHS chiefs are said to be concerned that patients – and more importantly, those hanging about in waiting rooms while their... »
Huntingdonshire District Council were today celebrating after their new household waste recycling centre, which opened to no fanfare on Saturday, exceeded all targets by having a wait time of only three seconds per vehicle, and recycling all waste collected. “What a fucking excellent scheme,” said District Councillor for Eynesbury ward, Paul Marcel. “We set ourselves... »
Town councillors were today up in arms after the shock news that the use of superlatives at council meetings was to be regulated. The Local Government Agency was quoted yesterday as saying “For many years, councillors have over used superlatives at meetings in order to stand a better chance of being quoted in the local... »
A team of local ghost hunters were claiming to have seen an apparition of the late Fred Dibnah after a séance at the recently vacated ATS site on Brook Street. The team had been called in by local historian Henry Tibbut and Town Councillor Steve van de whitevanman to investigate the historical significance of the... »
Controversial Citizen editor Tim C. has again upset the establishment with a blatant disregard for some rule or law or something. Fresh from upsetting the entire population of Truman Town (Cambourne), Mr C. has been roasted alive by local law enforcement officers for “listening” to stuff. By his own admission our illustrious editor was simply... »
Local councillors, business representatives and local police have hailed the closure of the old Huntingdon Road pool “a complete success.” Some years after the community resource was filled and fenced off a council report has shown a fall in costs, deaths, crimes and toes stubbed on dodgy paving slabs. Councillor Steve Whyte-Van-Der Ryyver said ever since... »
