All Council Decisions To Be Based On Facebook

Following national media coverage of the “St.Neots Needs A Cinema” Facebook group, St Neots Town Council today announced plans to base all future policies and decisions on Facebook groups.

The group, which has the “tremendous support” of around 2,500 members and spells the town name incorrectly, has been cited in local and national papers as proof that the population of St Neots are being let down by the repeated failure of the Council to interest a cinema operator enough to actually build one in the town.

Councillors were keen to gloss over the fact that many of the group members were in fact not in favour of a cinema, and most of the ones that were had an average age of thirteen. “If Facebook says it, it must be true!” stated cllr Paul Marcel, 42, having just stated that the group “Paul Marcel has six toes” was based in fiction.

“Basically,” continued the councillor, “we can set up Facebook groups with the town’s name in, and people will join regardless. Then we can claim this is support for the idea, whatever it is, and get it pushed through.”

Lib Dem Steven van der Whitevanman said “People’ll join any group. Honestly! Look how many people think that if they join a certain group some bloke’ll call his as-yet-unborn son Batman. Or get Facebook to change back to the old layout – which is slightly less likely than St Neots ever having a cinema. Perfect!”

Local “new media” consultant Nathan Hoxton said, “This is a fucking great idea. But the councillors need to remember that group names are always spelled and punctuated in a terrible fashion.” He cited the group “I hate facbook groops with horid Speling” as an example. “I don’t think they’ll have any problems posing questions as statements, though, as long as they get councillor Dougall to set them up.”

St Neots-oriented Facebook groups have previously included “Let’s shoot the chav scum that stamped on that puppy’s head that time” with 42,665 members, and “St Neots occasionally smells faintly of eggs”, with over one million.

The Citizen expects to sign in later this week to find invitations to join groups ranging from “Should St Neots High Street be payntid pink” to “Lets have more takeaways in the hi St”, not forgetting “Honestly, guys, the old fire station site IS big enough for a cinema, three restaurants and a car park!”

Tags: cinema, Councillors, Facebook, St Neots

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 23rd, 2010 at 13:50 and is filed under Local News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.