St Neots Lynch Mob – Annual Dinner Dance
This year’s annual dinner dance of the St Neots Lynch Mob and Glee Club will take place at The Little Thief Restaurant at the Black Cat Roundabout.
“This will give us great view of drivers knocking people off bikes and things, and we’ll be able to get out there straight away and tell plod exactly what happened and where the nearest gallows is,” said club chairwoman J P Swingemhigh.
“We don’t have much to do round here but we can certainly get a posse together when someone fucks up” she added.
The club, mainly made of cycling enthusiasts who believe that roads are only to be used for time trials, was first formed in the middle ages to clear the parish of heretics and witches. It now has responsibility for much wailing and gnashing of teeth and extracting flesh by the pound from any poor soul accidentally making an error in judgement. Despite numerous proven miscarriages of justice in the British Judicial System the society accepts without challenge any guilty verdict and campaigns for hanging as a minimum punishment.
“We’re a very friendly bunch really. As long as you’ve got some Lycra shorts and a vengeful personality you’ll fit in fine,” said Swingmehigh.
The Citizen understands that club membership is at an all time high.
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