St Neots Residents Discriminated Against
The recent decision by UK security agencies to install full body scanners at airports could unfairly jeopardise the travelling plans of St Neots residents.
The machines, which measure 5′ square, will only accommodate approximately 5% of the town’s population, so large are their backsides.
“This is an outrage!” said local fence expert and councillor, Steve van de Whitevanman. “If I’d been planning such an enclosure it would be painted yearly and be at least twice as large.” He added, “As it is most of our residents have trouble fitting in the seats on planes. Now they won’t even be able to get past security.”
Security expert Lee Abbots said “I can understand the concern but look at it from our point of view. Would you want to see what’s underneath those black leggings and JB Sports trackie bottoms? No, I thought not. Best they stay at home or holiday at Butlins.”
Judith Chalmers was unavailable for comment.
