EXCLUSIVE: Naked Skateboarder Revealed!!
Always first with the stories that really matter The Citizen can exclusively reveal the identity of St Neots’ early morning 4-wheeled wonder to be none other than Award Winning Local Councillor Larry Hackman.
Hackman (3.5 inches) was spotted by sharp-eyed local man Gordon McQueen while out walking his dog this week.
“I couldn’t believe it!” said Mcqueen. “There I was giving the old miniature poodle a trot through the Riverside Park about 7 when… wahey! Out pops the old feller on a customised Enjoi deck with nothing on but a pair of Etnies and a Union Jack helmet! He did a couple of back-flips and a rather spectacular nose-grind before treating us to his trademark cock wave. A couple of ladies were a bit shocked at first but were soon giggling with the rest of us.”
We caught up with Hackman later in the day. “Yes, it was me,” confided Lackman. “We’ve been trying to work up an election campaign based on my recent prestigious award. You did know I’d won an award didn’t you? My election strategists have seen my popularity soar on the back of it. By combining skateboarding, nudity and patriotism they think I’ll be appealing to the youth, female and nationalist vote. And I can cock wave without using my hands. None of the people I’m up against can do that!”
Hackman’s campaign manger, Citizen Editor Tim C, was a little more sheepish. “Yeah, Larry approached me at the award ceremony and asked if I could advise him on the forthcoming campaign seeing as I’m a media expert. I couldn’t pass on the opportunity could I?” said a grinning C.
Alastair Campbell was unavailable for comment.
