Mayor To Get New Stilts
Following uproar over the Town Council spending £3,000 on ceremonial dress for mayor Gerald Thorpe, it was today announced that the council plans a further £1,500 outlay on official mayoral stilts.
Former council leader Julia Wayward had previously commented, “I think this town lacks a real sense of civic identity in the way that our neighbours have. We should consider elevating our mayor slightly so he stands out and has a real sense of identity in the town.”
The best way, said Wayward, to achieve this elevation was with the five-foot stilts, traditionally worn by clowns and, erm, stilt-walkers.
As for a sense of identity, Wayward went on the explain that the council were “spending £295 on a name-badge so everyone knows who the mayor is.”
Lets be honest, the Mayor needs stilts because hes drowning in his own poop following the “racist” playgroup fiasco!!