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Saturday April 29th 2017

‘Last Week’s Stars’ Microfiche

Marrowdope

Marrowdope

Resident gastronomical-astrological tramp Grubby Pete, otherwise known as Benny T. Bean, guides you through the cosmos or something. Virgo (23/08-22/09) see Capricorn. [Read More]

Sorrowscope

Sorrowscope

Pisces (20/02-20/03) Life is a roller coaster and, as you well know, last week was no exception for Piscerians. That is all. [Read More]

Horrorpope

Horrorpope

Aquarius (20/1-19/2) Is there anything more liberating or revitalising than "mooning" at the wind Aquarius? No. [Read More]

Borrowscope

Borrowscope

Congratulations, you're Aquarius. Your birthday is probably really soon. For those of you who have already celebrated, I think you dropped your phone in the second cubicle at the Priory. Good luck getting a new one as you forgot to pay last month's gadget insurance premium. [Read More]

Horrorscope

Horrorscope

Aquarius (20/1-19/2) Remember that bird that was looking at you in the Weeping Gash? You know, that actual feathery pigeon, not a lady. You weren't paranoid, it wanted you dead. [Read More]

This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

Microfiche

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