Follow-Up
The Girl Who Cried Hoody
The story of “The Girl Who Cried Hoody” looks set to put St Neots on the literary map. The English Literary society have decided to include St Neots in their project to modernise Aesop’s Fables and recent events in St Neots have allowed completion of this exciting project. Chairman of the society, Prof John... »
ADHD Girl Apologises To Hoodies – Puppy Still Dead
Disgraced former puppy owner May Marston was today facing calls to apologise to local hoodies after blaming them for the death of her dog – which in fact died of natural causes. Marston appeared in several national newspapers and was the subject of a widely-supported Facebook group after she alledged that local yobs kicked... »
Dead Puppy Hoax
Ordinarily, the St Neots Citizen doesn’t run actual news. But this has pissed me off. Following national outcry over the kicking to death of a ten-week-old puppy in Priory Park, offers of help and support, an OAP buying the girl in question a new puppy, near-on mob justice in St Neots, and an innocent... »
Footbridge Back – Loves Farm Saved from Chavs
Now known as the Footbridge Complete Cock-up (FCC) plan local councillor Julie Wayward has had confirmation from Second Town Disconnect (STD) that far from being shelved the plan to separate Loves Farm residents from the rest of St Neots is set to go ahead. STD have confirmed that a “senior manager” with little responsibility... »
History Repeats As Venues Go Back In Time
Following last month’s closure of the highly unpopular night venue Worx, former manager Ian Yoshimi has surprised no-one by delaying the re-launch of Worx’s predecessor, Shotz/The Warehouse/The King’s Head/Stripes/Something Else. This week it was announced with much fanfare that the formerly popular venue, closed down by Teeth-Moss Entertainment in favour of the rubbish club... »
Riverside Ripper Still On The Loose
St Neots dog walkers are living in fear this week as a reign of terror continues by an evil beast of a dog hell bent on attacking every animal on a lead it encounters. The Riverside Ripper also known as Mac The Knife prowls the well-worn and dog shit contaminated byways of this once... »
Mini-Calming Clampdown On Furious Cycling In The Town
Following complaints from "Mothers against furious cycling" at a council surgery, plans are being implemented to slow down cyclists in the High Street. Sharon Kiley, a local mother, said "I saw one of these mainiacs ride straight over a crisp packet and I thought if that was my little boy playing in the road he... »
Local Villages Claim To Recreate Past Better
Following on from the power cut which briefly sent parts of St Neots into the 19th century, surrounding areas have claimed they too can recreate the past. Some Little Paxton residents claimed they were able to recreate a time when computers weren’t as frequently used easily. One local said “We’re working on recreating the... »
Pub Relocated According To Residents
Locals were surprised to read in a local paper this week that the Waggon and Horses, which last week was “accidentally” turned into a drive-thru, is apparently now located in Nelson Road. The front page of the Town Crier this week carried a story covering Collingwood Road resident Gordon Bennett’s plea for drivers to... »
Hardwick Discovered Near 17th Hole
After a long search, mystery parish Eynesbury Hardwick has been discovered near the 17th hole at Abbottsley Golf Club. This came as a surprise to the establishment, who “always thought they were in Abbottsley,” and has upset local residents by further linking St Neots into Bedfordshire. Madcap local councillor Bob Farms recently made headlines... »
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