Your Premier Local News Resource
Thursday March 23rd 2017

‘THIS JUST IN’ Microfiche

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining that all our local independent restaurants have closed. It is almost certain that once three soulless chain eateries open with the new [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t compare the town council to the Third Reich. As the Cambridge News reported, Van der Whitevanman had claimed that proposed changes to the way the council [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. Many had been puzzling for weeks why “traces of horse DNA”, rather than actual horse meat, had been found in many low-end frozen meals, and some [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft measures. Motorists on the A428 have been watching with interest from their daily traffic jam as the building takes place, noting that it appears to be made [Read More]

Champagne Shoplifter “Had No Taste”

Champagne Shoplifter “Had No Taste”

Local supermarket managers have spoken out about the recent spate of theft of sparkly French booze, revealing that the so-called Champagne Shoplifter had “little or no taste”. The Evening News In The Morning reported yesterday that Robert Pinata of Bedford had [Read More]

Shock At Lasagne Meat Content

Shock At Lasagne Meat Content

St Neots’ frozen food connoisseurs were outraged today after it was revealed that some Findus lasagnes may only contain “up to 60% horse meat”. The microwavable delights were quickly withdrawn from sale so that the allegations could be investigated. Horse [Read More]

Jesus “Ultimate Guest” Say Kyle Team

Jesus “Ultimate Guest” Say Kyle Team

A researcher for Britain’s favourite mid-morning diversion The Jeremy Kyle Show has revealed that the show plans to book Jesus as a guest. “It seems obvious really,” said Robert Kilroy-Silk, who used to host his own show until he turned into an on-air [Read More]

Local Couple Not Planning Baby Or Cat

Local Couple Not Planning Baby Or Cat

An Eaton Ford couple have stunned friends and family by announcing that they do not intend to have children. The revelation came following a three-year relationship which recently turned into an engagement. Many thought the next logical step for Timothy Edwards, an [Read More]

Shock As Casual Friday Not Extinct

Shock As Casual Friday Not Extinct

Office-based employees across the UK were stunned this week to find that Eighties invention Casual Friday, where staff who wear a shirt and tie the rest of the week all turn up in jeans, still exists. Expert Scientists previously believed that the phenomenon had died out [Read More]

Snow Is Conversation Topper

Snow Is Conversation Topper

Figures released today show that snow, ice, and existing in aforementioned conditions accounted for 82% of all conversational content in the last seven days. As Cambridgeshire shivered its way back to work yesterday, following Monday’s mass skive during which 75% of [Read More]

 Page 1 of 3  1  2  3 »

This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

Microfiche

Subscribe