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Friday September 22nd 2017

‘THIS JUST IN’ Microfiche

Road Will Keep Name

Road Will Keep Name

Residents of an upmarket Westside street have refuted claims that the name of their enclave is to change. Angela McFarquar-Farquarrsson-Smith, of Savile’s Close, off Crosshall Road, said that following many towns such as Scarborough in altering the name to avoid [Read More]

Fatties Rejoice As Golden Arches Given Go-Ahead

Fatties Rejoice As Golden Arches Given Go-Ahead

South Cambridgeshire fast food lovers were overjoyed yesterday as SCDC’s planning committee approved redevelopment of the Yim Wah site at Caxton Gibbett. Work will soon begin on replacing the burnt-out shell of the former Chinese restaurant with McDonalds, Subway, and [Read More]

Local Couple Keep Facebook Mostly Baby-Free

Local Couple Keep Facebook Mostly Baby-Free

Local new parents Edward and Leanne Spatchflick today fielded bewildered wall posts from friends concerned about the health of their child, Errol, who was born three weeks ago. Other than one quick “look, this is our new baby” snap taken with Edward’s HTC [Read More]

VIDEO: Citizen News Trailer 3

VIDEO: Citizen News Trailer 3

First full episode coming this weekend! By which I mean we’ll film it at the weekend and then get around to editing it sometime on Tuesday. Hey, we’re not perfect. COMING UP: Subscribe to our YouTube channel [Read More]

Van Driver Disappointed By Back Door

Van Driver Disappointed By Back Door

A white van driver has expressed his dismay at the lack of humourous scrawlings in the dust on his back doors. Fletcher Herlock, 35, began working for local firm Motorway Couriers three months ago and, having previously driven a grey van which did not show up dirt very [Read More]

Urban Shortcutter Comes A Cropper

Urban Shortcutter Comes A Cropper

A Cambridge driver has come unstuck by driving his enormous Jaguar onto a cycle bridge. The “unobservant” driver was able to access the decrepit footbridge between Rustat Road and Devonshire Road after mysterious vandals pinched a wooden bollard. Eyewitnesses [Read More]

Locals Unaware Of Name Change

Locals Unaware Of Name Change

A recent survey has shown that almost 85% of Neotians are unaware that St Neots Community College has become Ernulf Academy. The survey of a hundred people, conducted in December, revealed that 84.3% thought the Eastside school was still known by its old name, which [Read More]

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This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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