News In Brief
Anglian Announces Glow-In-The-Dark Water
Anglian Water today announced plans to introduce glow-in-the-dark water to the region. The move came following plans by a local landfill operator to accept debris from dismantled nuclear power stations, rather than sending the waste to a secure disposal facility as in the past. Samuel South of Peterborough City Council said that he was concerned that... »
Councillors Excited About Starting School
Childish local councillors Paul Marcel, Harry Shipman and Terrence Dougall were today reported to be excited about starting full-time primary education in the Spring term. Following revelations that the councillors are all in fact five years old – explaining instantly why they all act so childishly – Bushmead and Middlefield schools offered places to the... »
Shock As Citizen Avoids Predictable Christmas Lights Story
Readers were shocked today as the Citizen avoided publishing a predicatable story about St Neots’ rubbish festive illuminations. Editor Tim C said, “You couldn’t make it up really, so why even try? “Over the past few years we have had increasingly awful Christmas lights displays, ever since that one gantry fell down on some pedestrian.” The lights... »
Councillor Launches Crusade To Save Local Buildings
Town councillor Steven van der Whitevanman today launched a campaign to ensure that a number of historical buildings in St Neots are not lost to redevelopment. A number of businesses and services have closed recently leaving an even higher number of empty shops and offices than usual. Many would consider these eyesores, but Whitevanman believes... »
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