Your Premier Local News Resource
Thursday October 19th 2017

‘Local News’ Microfiche

Bin Laden Done In By Moody Chavs

Bin Laden Done In By Moody Chavs

The world celebrated last night after news that Osama bin Laden has been killed following a ten-year manhunt. However, it appears reports of a gun battle involving US Marines were in fact covering the true facts – a gang of moody St Neots chavs in fact carried out the [Read More]

Local Rags Fear Closure

Local Rags Fear Closure

Local freebie newspapers the Hunts Post-It and News, Crier and Something were this week facing a bleak future after the much-maligned Guided Busway was completed. Around 72% of the papers’ coverage has been made up of reports of the project for nearly three years, [Read More]

Speed Limit Scheme “A Bit Daft”

Speed Limit Scheme “A Bit Daft”

Town councillors are unhappy with CCC's plans to let residents set their own speed limits. "It's a bit daft to say the least", said cllr Julia Wayward [Read More]

Local Chavs Terrified Of Gun-Wielding Nans

Local Chavs Terrified Of Gun-Wielding Nans

Hoodie yobs in St Neots report they are scared to leave their own homes after gangs of knife-happy pensioners began roaming the streets. Reports in local rags of a “grey crime-wave” only hint at the daily abuse suffered by local teens at the hands of loudmouthed [Read More]

Citizen To Report Real News

Citizen To Report Real News

In a shock move today, the editor of the St Neots Citizen announced that the sites satirical days were over. “We’ve been approached by another publisher,” said Tim C, speaking from the Citizen’s offices on the Westside, “about becoming an [Read More]

Cambourne Not In Cambridge Shocker

Cambourne Not In Cambridge Shocker

Residents of Cambourne took the hump today after discovering that they were officially no longer in Cambridge. Since 2009, the new village has been served by the Citi 4 bus and paid the same fares as Cambridge city residents. But all this is to change, say bus company [Read More]

Councillors Reach Critical Levels

Councillors Reach Critical Levels

Recent shifts in St Neots Town demographic have caused Councillors to become unstable. The resultant election tsunami has resulted in higher than normal levels of bullshit with 1 of  4 councillors  in danger of complete meltdown. It appears than cllr van der Whitevanman 2 [Read More]

Councillor Was Not Real

Councillor Was Not Real

Local councillor steps down after her very existence disproved [Read More]

Everyone Misses War

Everyone Misses War

Residents surprised and divided over new scrap [Read More]

Arcade Distracts Youth For Six Minutes

Arcade Distracts Youth For Six Minutes

Hoodie chavs in town were this weekend distracted from sitting in the Market Square shouting at passing nans by new arcade Amuseworld, which opened on Saturday in the old Job Centre building. The arcade, which features 2p-push machines, classic Sega Rally, air hockey and [Read More]

 Page 4 of 29  « First  ... « 2  3  4  5  6 » ...  Last » 

This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

Microfiche

Subscribe