Your Premier Local News Resource
Saturday November 17th 2018

Estates Demand Own Signs

Local developments Eynesbury Manor and Love’s Farm have got all jealous of the lovely hand-carved wooden ‘village’ signs found in the more traditional four sections of St Neots.

Eaton Ford, Eaton Socon and Eynesbury have at various times in the last twenty years gained nice wooden signs on their respective village greens. St Neots itself has a similar installation in rubbish set of steps Jubilee Gardens, behind Thomas Morris estate agents.

But newer sections of the town have no such denominational signage. “It’s a fucking disgrace,” said Bellend Hill resident Christopher Wall, 33. “I moved up from Essex to this luxury Eastside development and there’s no village sign. What’s that all about bruv? Once the developers move out and take their signs down, no-one will know this is Love’s Farm, and it’s just not on.”

However, councillors have sought to put uppity newcomers in their place. “The reason,” said Westside councillor King Cooper, “that these places do not have signs is that they are not actual areas of town – they’re housing estates! And not very good ones either. What next? A wooden sign for Duck Lane? Pfft.”

Citizen Editor

The Citizen Editor lives in Citizen Towers, on the town’s luxurious Westside. Rumoured to be nearly thirty, he has claimed to be 23 for the last few years and is currently also a grotty tax-dodging student.

His hobbies involve upsetting small villages and repeatedly giving up smoking. He drinks approximately a gallon of tea every day.

Citizenship

    Leave a Comment

    More like this

    Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup
    Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

    Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

    Champagne Shoplifter “Had No Taste”
    Champagne Shoplifter “Had No Taste”

    Local supermarket managers have spoken out about the recent spate of theft of sparkly French booze, revealing that the [Read More]

    Local Couple Not Planning Baby Or Cat
    Local Couple Not Planning Baby Or Cat

    An Eaton Ford couple have stunned friends and family by announcing that they do not intend to have children. The [Read More]

    Stealth Gippos Move In
    Stealth Gippos Move In

    St Neots residents working in north Cambridge were shocked yesterday by an email from security stating that travellers [Read More]

    Snow Is Conversation Topper
    Snow Is Conversation Topper

    Figures released today show that snow, ice, and existing in aforementioned conditions accounted for 82% of all [Read More]

    Microfiche

    Subscribe