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Thursday July 18th 2019

“Green Suburb” Doomed

St Neots Town Council today admitted that the proposed “Green Suburb” near Loves Farm was a non-starter.

A spokesman said, “B&Q just don’t have that much green paint.” The DIY giant said that they would be happy to negotiate a discount on own-branded paints of other colours, but that a pink, blue and grey suburb would not be in keeping with the surroundings.

Citizen Editor

The Citizen Editor lives in Citizen Towers, on the town’s luxurious Westside. Rumoured to be nearly thirty, he has claimed to be 23 for the last few years and is currently also a grotty tax-dodging student.

His hobbies involve upsetting small villages and repeatedly giving up smoking. He drinks approximately a gallon of tea every day.

Citizenship
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