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Monday July 24th 2017

Shock As Casual Friday Not Extinct

dress-down-fridayOffice-based employees across the UK were stunned this week to find that Eighties invention Casual Friday, where staff who wear a shirt and tie the rest of the week all turn up in jeans, still exists.

Expert Scientists previously believed that the phenomenon had died out sometime around 2002, when companies all over the country started either letting people slum it daily, or making them dress up for the last 20% of the working week.

Chef and Citizen Southern Correspondent Marcus Slazengé, 25, said, “I was very surprised to learn that casual Friday is an actual thing. I wear chef whites seven days a week, and have never worked in an office, so I thought it was one of those mythical things you hear about, like stationery cupboards, or lunch breaks.”

Indeed, Slazengé was more surprised to learn that CF was not only real, but current. “Shocked, in fact, is the best word to use,” he continued. “In this day and age, is there really any reason to dress up in uncomfortable collared attire if you aren’t at a meeting or something? Nah man.”

A spokesman for Expert Scientists, often referred to by lazy daily tabloids such as the Mail, told this reporter, “It makes very little sense. It should be dead. We thought it was dead. I mean, if it’s acceptable to wear trainers and such on a Friday, then  shouldn’t it be acceptable every day? Holding on to antiquated business traditions that we thought had been killed by climate change helps nobody. These CF companies need to wise up. Next thing you know, we’ll be hearing that they still use fax machines and print things out and put them in files! Madness!”

The Citizen, of course, has no such dress code, preferring to stick to not the first date rule, but the “would you wear it at home watching the telly?” rule as to what is acceptable. Instead of worrying about attire, we prefer Mind-Boggling Success Friday, which comes after Make Some Cash, Yeah? Thursday.

Thus far, no-one has complained.

Ken Faulstitch

Ken Faulstitch was born in New Jersey in 1921 and is still not dead. He remains a 31-year-old local news hack, is only available in black and white, and it still not sure whether this new-fangled internet thing will take off.

Citizenship

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