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Saturday November 17th 2018

St Neots Bridge To Somewhere Goes… Nowhere!

Shocked residents from the shocking dormitory estate of Loves Farm have been shocked by the news that plans to build the bridge connecting them to the station have been shelved.

300px-Stneotsbuilding“I’m shocked!” said Cambridge Road resident L. Tisley. “When I bought this place I was promised a cinema, a super-dooper health centre and bridge so I wouldn’t have to walk amongst the chavs on the way to work. All I’ve got is a soccer pitch and a school and I hate football and haven’t got kids! It’s shocking!”

Thinking for quite some time, local councillor Terrence Dougall confirmed that not building the bridge would be good for local trade. “I’ve had a bloody good think about this,” he ranted, “and I’m now claiming that it was my idea to shelve the bridge plans thereby making people have to walk closer to the Town Centre. In fact I’m proposing that all routes to the station are blocked off unless they pass The Old Bridge. Which means everyone, even from Loves Farm, would only be able to get to the railway via Eaton Ford. That’ll help our struggling businesses. I thought of that myself you know.”

Sir Alec Guinness was unavailable for comment

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