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Friday December 15th 2017

Posts Tagged ‘Aliens’

Awful New Car Park Wins Award

Awful New Car Park Wins Award

The much-maligned new car park layout at St Neots’ Tesco, which is designed in such a way to facilitate as many head-on collisions as possible, has one the prestigious “Car Park Of The Year” award. The honour, presented by the UK Guild of Car Parks and [Read More]

Aliens Abduct Entire Town Council

Aliens Abduct Entire Town Council

Keen watchers of Town Council politics cannot fail to have noticed the recent absence of activity amongst its members. The usual high profile civic campaigns; dodgy fences, purple-headed bollards, 2ft high bumps in the road to name a few, have quietly disappeared from our [Read More]

Tesco “Still Not Mothership” Says Retailer

Tesco “Still Not Mothership” Says Retailer

Supermarket giant Tesco today hit out at repeated claims that its St Neots store was “some kind of alien mothership”. Since this story¬†was published in the Citizen six years ago, the chain has been dogged by claims of alien involvement. “This has simply [Read More]

Tesco “Not Mothership”

Tesco “Not Mothership”

Tesco have denied claims that their St Neots store is an alien craft after Parklands residents reported an eerie green glow. The St Neots store was recently refurbished, and was advertised as being the first in the country to get the new “green glass” look. But [Read More]

This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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