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Saturday June 24th 2017

Posts Tagged ‘Cambridge’

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, relying instead on stories lifted directly from social media. In a test of the system recently, the CENITM told readers of a scam involving motorists being [Read More]

Stealth Gippos Move In

Stealth Gippos Move In

St Neots residents working in north Cambridge were shocked yesterday by an email from security stating that travellers had gained access to their office park. Despite a heavy security presence made up of former Gurkhas dressed in high visibility jackets and hats, the [Read More]

Whole Town Surprised By Cold White Stuff

Whole Town Surprised By Cold White Stuff

St Neots woke up to a half-hearted blanket of snow this morning, and collectively gasped at the spectacle. Despite a week of weather forecasts promising it would “definitely snow on Sunday night”, not one of the towns 27,000 residents was prepared for the [Read More]

Booze Hounds Urged To Avoid A14

Booze Hounds Urged To Avoid A14

Local fire chief Benedict Redgate this morning asked that local alcoholics avoid the large ethanol spill currently being cleared up on the A14. A tanker carrying the pure alcohol overturned at 6.20 this morning at the Bythorn turning, west of Huntingdon. Within minutes of [Read More]

Oldies Back Anti-Speeding Plan

Oldies Back Anti-Speeding Plan

Cambridgeshire’s OAPs can once again rest easy, after the menace of sales reps and boy racers in Kev’d-up Saxos speeding through their villages is to be tackled. No longer will the county’s septegenarians need to don hi-vis jackets and stand beside the [Read More]

Urban Shortcutter Comes A Cropper

Urban Shortcutter Comes A Cropper

A Cambridge driver has come unstuck by driving his enormous Jaguar onto a cycle bridge. The “unobservant” driver was able to access the decrepit footbridge between Rustat Road and Devonshire Road after mysterious vandals pinched a wooden bollard. Eyewitnesses [Read More]

Stagecoach Ends Bus Number Confusion

Stagecoach Ends Bus Number Confusion

Local bus operator Stagecoach this week announced their intention to end bus route confusion by giving all bus services the same number. Despite having an unlimited supply of integers to choose from, June saw the introduction of the X4 service from Cambridge to St Neots, [Read More]

Local Man Overexcited By Local Infrastructure

Local Man Overexcited By Local Infrastructure

Eaton Socon resident David Norway, 32, was recovering today after a minor mental breakdown as he got too excited about the completion of local engineering projects. The Roberts Close man, who works as a drug guidance counsellor, had been away on holiday for two months, and [Read More]

News & That Gets New Rozzer Picture

News & That Gets New Rozzer Picture

Regular readers of the online edition of the Cambridge Used-To-Be-In-The-Evening News were today shocked to discover a new standard police image on a story about something to do with a road. Traditionally, the website is too lazy to take pictures of anything relating to [Read More]

Huntingdon Replaces Crack With Books

Huntingdon Replaces Crack With Books

Reports in the national press today suggest that the number of heroin and crack users in the UK is falling. “This situation is totally unacceptable,” says Warren Pearce, 22, who lives on the Oxmoor Estate’s notorious Kent Road and is the chairman of the [Read More]

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This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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