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Thursday November 23rd 2017

Posts Tagged ‘Cambridgeshire’

Road Will Keep Name

Road Will Keep Name

Residents of an upmarket Westside street have refuted claims that the name of their enclave is to change. Angela McFarquar-Farquarrsson-Smith, of Savile’s Close, off Crosshall Road, said that following many towns such as Scarborough in altering the name to avoid [Read More]

Booze Hounds Urged To Avoid A14

Booze Hounds Urged To Avoid A14

Local fire chief Benedict Redgate this morning asked that local alcoholics avoid the large ethanol spill currently being cleared up on the A14. A tanker carrying the pure alcohol overturned at 6.20 this morning at the Bythorn turning, west of Huntingdon. Within minutes of [Read More]

Oldies Back Anti-Speeding Plan

Oldies Back Anti-Speeding Plan

Cambridgeshire’s OAPs can once again rest easy, after the menace of sales reps and boy racers in Kev’d-up Saxos speeding through their villages is to be tackled. No longer will the county’s septegenarians need to don hi-vis jackets and stand beside the [Read More]

Urban Shortcutter Comes A Cropper

Urban Shortcutter Comes A Cropper

A Cambridge driver has come unstuck by driving his enormous Jaguar onto a cycle bridge. The “unobservant” driver was able to access the decrepit footbridge between Rustat Road and Devonshire Road after mysterious vandals pinched a wooden bollard. Eyewitnesses [Read More]

St Neots Squares Up To Newmarket

St Neots Squares Up To Newmarket

Neotians were today preparing for a scrap as it was announced that Newmarket, mostly over the border in Suffolk, was considering changing to a much more prosperous county – potentially robbing St Neots of it’s “largest town” status. “This [Read More]

St Neots Girls Mistaken For Stevenage Scum

St Neots Girls Mistaken For Stevenage Scum

St Neots girls were yesterday refused entry to the entire town of Stevenage after a case of mistaken identity led bouncers to believe they were pub-smashing ruffians. [Read More]

Local Rags Fear Closure

Local Rags Fear Closure

Local freebie newspapers the Hunts Post-It and News, Crier and Something were this week facing a bleak future after the much-maligned Guided Busway was completed. Around 72% of the papers’ coverage has been made up of reports of the project for nearly three years, [Read More]

Speed Limit Scheme “A Bit Daft”

Speed Limit Scheme “A Bit Daft”

Town councillors are unhappy with CCC's plans to let residents set their own speed limits. "It's a bit daft to say the least", said cllr Julia Wayward [Read More]

Grannies Whinge About Bus Cuts They Caused

Grannies Whinge About Bus Cuts They Caused

Local senior citizens have been complaining about the upcoming loss of bus services due to council funding cuts. Cambridgeshire County Council have announced that all routes that receive a subsidy will lose cash, and local bus operators say this means many routes will be [Read More]

Cambs County Council: Saving You Money

Cambs County Council: Saving You Money

Cambridgeshire County Council today promised to continue saving St Neots residents money by delaying the opening of the county’s pointless guided busway. The concrete track, which runs from St Ives to Cambridge and comes nowhere near the largest (and best) town, was [Read More]

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This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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