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Saturday June 24th 2017

Posts Tagged ‘Children’

Local Couple Not Planning Baby Or Cat

Local Couple Not Planning Baby Or Cat

An Eaton Ford couple have stunned friends and family by announcing that they do not intend to have children. The revelation came following a three-year relationship which recently turned into an engagement. Many thought the next logical step for Timothy Edwards, an [Read More]

Local Schools Abandon Phonics For Nuspeak

Local Schools Abandon Phonics For Nuspeak

Local primary schools have announced that they will not follow Government plans to use phonics to teach children to read. A story in the national news today (Saturday) explained how children will be tested on non-words such as ‘zort’ and ‘koob’, to [Read More]

Councillors Excited About Starting School

Councillors Excited About Starting School

Childish local councillors Paul Marcel, Harry Shipman and Terrence Dougall were today reported to be excited about starting full-time primary education in the Spring term. Following revelations that the councillors are all in fact five years old – explaining instantly [Read More]

This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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