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Thursday May 23rd 2013

Posts Tagged ‘Christmas Lights’

Council Praised For Innovative Eco-Friendly Lighting

Council Praised For Innovative Eco-Friendly Lighting

St Neots Town Council was today smiling all over its usual miserable face after the EU gave it a big pat on the back for the hundreds of eco-friendly Christmas light displays installed in the town centre. Despite popular belief that almost no lights have been put up [Read More]

Confusion As No-One Sure If Christmas Lights Switched On

Confusion As No-One Sure If Christmas Lights Switched On

Local residents today expressed uncertainty as to whether last night’s “Big Switch On” had in fact gone ahead. The usual events surrounding the illuminations went ahead as planned yesterday (Friday), including a rubbish fair with about four rides, and [Read More]

Shock As Citizen Avoids Predictable Christmas Lights Story

Shock As Citizen Avoids Predictable Christmas Lights Story

Readers were shocked today as the Citizen avoided publishing a predicatable story about St Neots’ rubbish festive illuminations. Editor Tim C said, “You couldn’t make it up really, so why even try? “Over the past few years we have had increasingly [Read More]

The Lights Go Down

The Lights Go Down

St Neots councillors were left distraught after learning that the now infamous cross-street Christmas lights can no longer be erected over the High Street. In a surprise move local traders have decided the lights are simply too crap to display. The recent HSE report has [Read More]

Leaked Report Reveals Nothing About Christmas Lights

Leaked Report Reveals Nothing About Christmas Lights

A long-awaited report from the Health & Safety Executive regarding 2007's Christmas lights incident, in which a pedestrian was struck by half a ton of metal falling from above the High Street, contains absolutely no new information. The report, which the Council have been [Read More]

Solicitors Disappointed With Christmas Lights

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Solicitors Disappointed With Christmas Lights

Local injury compensation specialists Win Just Over £7000, LLP have revealed their disappointment with this year’s Christmas lights in the town. Partner Irma Konnman said that his firm had laid on extra staff in the High Street and Market Square last Friday in order [Read More]

Council Plans To Alter Passage Of Time

Council Plans To Alter Passage Of Time

St Neots Town Council are hoping to alter time and possibly reality, by staging the 2007 Christmas lights switch-on this week. Last year, there was no lighting ceremony after a set of lights fell on a pedestrian’s head. But a spokesman for the council today said that [Read More]

Town Council Announce Christmas Lights Theme

Town Council Announce Christmas Lights Theme

The town council has announced its themes for this years Christmas lights display. Cllr Miles commented today, “In keeping with last years events and one of the big films this year, it is announced that the theme will be Indiana Jones.” When questioned on the [Read More]

Christmas Lights “Big Switch-On” This Week

Christmas Lights “Big Switch-On” This Week

St Neots Town Council has announced that the big switch on will be taking place next Friday, 25th July. Dean Dexter, a spokesperson from the Town Council, said “we are absolutely delighted to be switching the lights on next week as it will really help boost trade in the [Read More]

This Just In

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

Champagne Shoplifter “Had No Taste”

Champagne Shoplifter “Had No Taste”

Local supermarket managers have spoken out about the recent spate of theft of sparkly French booze, revealing that the [Read More]

Shock At Lasagne Meat Content

Shock At Lasagne Meat Content

St Neots’ frozen food connoisseurs were outraged today after it was revealed that some Findus lasagnes may only [Read More]

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