The new People’s Liberal-Conservative Democratic Socialist Republic of St Neots will aim to stop people whinging about the lack of services they get from their council tax, amongst other things.

It is hoped that the new single party will also eliminate squabbling between local councillors with different political affilliations.

The republic’s new figurehead President Terrence Dougall said, “This is a monumentous day for St Neots, I think. The new regime means there won’t be any elections, so we won’t have to slag each other off all the time, and we’ll be able to fix all the potholes and put some more public toilets in and… stuff.”

Civil liberties groups were up in arms about the worryingly Communist-sounding regime. “This is fucking terrible,” said Liberty spokesman Graham Reenpeace. “All that time we spent getting rid of dictatorships all over the world, and now we’ve got one right here in Cambridgeshire. This is a sad day for democracy.”

St Neots’ foreign minister Paul Marcel pointed out that the concept of a democratic Britain was rather flawed anyway. “Besides which,” he said, “St Neots isn’t a dictatorship. Dougall is just a fucking puppet, really, there’ll still be a full council taking pointless votes on every minute detail of life in the town. I mean, country.”

Eaton Ford resident Barry Gumble, 44, commented as he handed over his passport, “I don’t really give a shit who is running the town, or if it belongs to the UK or not, as long as they start emptying the bins every week.”

It is thought that Julia Wayward, Derek Miles and Larry Hackman have spent the last three weeks playing SimCity almost non-stop in order to better understand how to run a despotic micro-nation. “We also watched that BBC series where Danny Wallace made his own country in his flat,” said Wayward, “and it was all rather… lovely.”

Castro was unavailable for comment.