Sharon Kiley, a local mother, said “I saw one of these mainiacs ride straight over a crisp packet and I thought if that was my little boy playing in the road he could be killed or worse!”
Councillors have decided to act after representations were made by HiProfile Traffic Calming PLC. offering to solve the councils budget surplus problems.

Cyclewatch teams have been working in the High St. for a week now. Sydney Grosset the ‘team leader’ said, “Some of them ride so fast, we were really frightened, those chunky tyres are like a chainsaw coming at you!”

HiProfile’s plans involve a combination of concrete chicanes and rising mini-bollards triggered by excessive speed. There will be loudspeakers at stoplights which will deliver a stark warning:
“You have been seen cycling furiously, photographs have been sent to the authorities and you face possible prosecution!”
Those found guilty will have to wear a community waistcoat, saying “I cycle too fast and risk childrens lives” for a week (or even longer in serious cases!)

In other measures to cut the (potential) loss of life, a council spokesperson said a special fenced cycle lane linking the High Street with the station via Great Barford was being build “To make pople think twice before chosing a bike for the journey.” The LongStand bus company are contributing generously to the latter scheme.

Cyclewatch teams are meanwhile photographing cyclists for a ‘Naming and Shaming’ colour section in the St.Neots Citizen entitled “Just look at these irresponsible bastards!”

Story by PW