Posts Tagged ‘Councillors’

Following news that a council in the Frozen North is using up to nine wheelie bins for each house, HDC today announced a radical new plan for the district’s recyclables. Currently, most people have three wheelie bins, or different coloured [Click to read more...]

A local Lib Dem attempt to simplify electoral posters has back fired in spectacular fashion, it was revealed yesterday. Long and complicated second names like Gdnagley and van der Whitevandriver van der Whitevandriverman van der Whitevandriver have [Click to read more...]

St Neots Town Council were in shock this week as Council Leader Julia Wayward agreed to abolish herself. The roles of council leader and deputy leader will no longer exist, said Wayward today, as they are completely fucking pointless. [Click to read more...]

Liberal Democrat councillor Steve van der Whitevanman has promised new fences if re-elected – but only for Eynesbury residents. Cllr vn der Whitevanman has a long-standing history with fences after campaigning tirelessly for a new one at the [Click to read more...]

Eynesbury Lib Dem councillor Steven van der Whitevanman was under pressure today to change his name by deedpoll to something a little shorter. Whitevanman, whose full name is Steven van der Whitevandriver van der Whitevandriverman van der [Click to read more...]

The local candidate for the Monster Raving Looney party, Lord Ropey Rug, was today declared “far too sensible” by members of the less-interesting parties. “The Looney’s are supposed to come up with some really amusing – [Click to read more...]

It was sensationally revealed tonight that, if elected, the Lib Dems plan to opt St Neots out of the United Kingdom’s currency, the Great British Pound. “The quid is a bit of an outdated concept,” said Steve van der Whitevanman at [Click to read more...]

The Editor of the St Neots Citizen today apologised for the lack of recent updates, saying “really, guys, there is fuck all to report.” He went on, “We promised less councillor bitching, moaning and cock-waving than other papers, [Click to read more...]

Councillor Larry Hackman has gone the extra mile for Sport Relief this week by smashing the previous world record for “blahring” . Posting on a local interweb forum Councillor Hackman continually “blahed” longer and with less [Click to read more...]

Conservative town councillors today showed the world – and the Lib Dems – that they are most committed to saving our free car park at the Riverside, by moving into it. Councillors including Paul Marcel and Larry Hackman parked a 1984 [Click to read more...]