He started the party in his back yard, at his back gate, by showing people the “party cup” and explaining, “That ain’t the best part baby – just wait.”

Dave Irestraits had a genuine weather vein that moves with the breeze, and a portable hammock, because then you don’t need trees.

He explained, “It’s casual entertainment. We aim to please. My parties are alright!”

Irestraits, 42, also spent over £6,000 on a brass toilet tissue holder with its own telephone, and a musical doorbell that plays America the Beautiful.

Delicate Council leader Derek Miles said, “We can’t have people not caring about polar bears and the ozone layer, just because they’re not running out of anything in their deep freeze. This guy’s gonna find himself in band H soon if I’ve got anything to do with it.”

Irestraits shrugged, and replied that perhaps the punch was “a little heavy on the fruit.” This reporter declined to kiss the cook.