Tag Archive
Nights Out Traditionally Crap Claims Historian
Local historians were today hailing the recent radar mapping of the old Priory site a success having discovered several important artefacts. Unearthed Artefacts dating back over 500 years were removed from the site to be catalogued at the nearby Council offices. Famous local historian Henry Tibbett commented, “We have found the remains of sticky... »
Local Chavs "Confused, Lost and Lonely" says Social Worker
Dee Dington, a local nosey cow social worker has stepped into the row over the ever shrinking facilities for youth in the Town. "It really is horrific. First we refuse to provide multi-screen cinemas, health spas and sports facilities every 300 yards. Then we shut the only place where our deprived youngsters can binge... »
History Repeats As Venues Go Back In Time
Following last month’s closure of the highly unpopular night venue Worx, former manager Ian Yoshimi has surprised no-one by delaying the re-launch of Worx’s predecessor, Shotz/The Warehouse/The King’s Head/Stripes/Something Else. This week it was announced with much fanfare that the formerly popular venue, closed down by Teeth-Moss Entertainment in favour of the rubbish club... »
Surprise As Club Shuts After 11 Months
Rubbish St Neots club Worx closed its doors last week, after the credit crunch apparently drove residents to drink at home. Ignoring the fact that the Priory seemed to be busy as ever, a spokesman for Teeth-Moss Entertainment, who own the venue in the former Job Centre as well as similarly-doomed Stripes Bar &... »
Health Check Results Revealed
Ahead of the Health Check Report final result from the District Council – due out early 2009 – the Citizen can reveal some exclusively “obtained” information. Initial findings have shown the town’s inhabitants to be “quite sick”. Most people were unaware of the checks being carried out on them, and therefore the findings were... »
No-One Surprised As Club Doesn't Open
St Neots’ newest “night venue”, Worx, did not open as planned last Friday, surprising exactly no-one. Local papers were quick to pun the fact that building worx had over-run. General manager Leanne Hack said, “Well yeah obviously we are disappointed. Mainly cos we’re gonna charge people a fiver to get in, so we’re... »
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