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Sunday December 17th 2017

Posts Tagged ‘Drugs’

VIDEO: Citizen News Trailer 3

VIDEO: Citizen News Trailer 3

First full episode coming this weekend! By which I mean we’ll film it at the weekend and then get around to editing it sometime on Tuesday. Hey, we’re not perfect. COMING UP: Subscribe to our YouTube channel [Read More]

Huntingdon Replaces Crack With Books

Huntingdon Replaces Crack With Books

Reports in the national press today suggest that the number of heroin and crack users in the UK is falling. “This situation is totally unacceptable,” says Warren Pearce, 22, who lives on the Oxmoor Estate’s notorious Kent Road and is the chairman of the [Read More]

Cooking With Beans: Spotted Dick

Cooking With Beans: Spotted Dick

Resident Gastronomical genius Benny T. Bean guides us to pudding heaven [Read More]

Addicts Have New Excuse

Addicts Have New Excuse

A report in the national press today explains that some people are missing a subunit of a receptor that tells them when they have had enough nicotine, making them born smokers. Neotians are using this report to explain addiction to everything else. [Read More]

Young Dole Scroungers Demand Equality

Young Dole Scroungers Demand Equality

Local unemployed teenagers have attacked the benefit system for paying more to their older counterparts, as the cost of living for workshy scroungers increases. [Read More]

Dealers Bemoan Closure Of Toilets

Dealers Bemoan Closure Of Toilets

Drug dealers in St Neots were today up in arms after the council announced it was to close South Street public conveniences. The grotty old bogs, whose odour can be detected as far away as Little Paxton, have long been a blight on the landscape of South Street, especially [Read More]

This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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