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Tuesday May 23rd 2017

Posts Tagged ‘Eastside’

Chav Superhighway Funding Exclusive

Chav Superhighway Funding Exclusive

As the bridge is opened over the Great Ouse, St Neots Citizen has uncovered the missing funding donor for the Eynesbury to Eatons Chav Superhighway. It appears that the unaccounted-for money, to the tune of a Rowley Million, has been put forward by a consortium made up of [Read More]

Lack Of Superhighway Upsets Chavs

Lack Of Superhighway Upsets Chavs

New resident in town Chardonnay-Leigh bemoans the yet-unfinished bridge. Will it drag on as long as the busway? [Read More]

Eastsiders Upset About Hedge

Eastsiders Upset About Hedge

Broadwalk residents had a good old whinge yesterday about trees that were put up to block out floodlights that they had previously had a good old whinge about. The infamous Leyland Cyprus hedge was planted behind Eynesbury Rovers’ football ground after neighbours [Read More]

Dream Job Dilemma

Dream Job Dilemma

Dear Dave, I have a dilemma. I have been offered my Dream Job. But the location is bound to cause a problem with my family and friends. I got temporary work in a factory in Cromwell Road, It went really well, ending up being full time . The agency put me forward for a [Read More]

Bit Of Grass Gains Name

Bit Of Grass Gains Name

A shortcut which runs from Eynesbury Manor to Eaton Socon has been given a name, complete with proper street sign. The rubbish bit of grass and hardcore-covered pathway, which includes a playground otherwise known as Friday nights’ second-best chav socialisation [Read More]

Tesco To Open Super Extra Store?

Tesco To Open Super Extra Store?

The Citizen has learned that Tesco is opening a new super extra store in the Eatons, on the site of the current Co-Op which everyone still calls Rainbow. On plans for the new store, Tesco spokesman Phil Fawcett said, “The car park is a bit to organised, no award [Read More]

Work Begins On Chav Superhighway

Work Begins On Chav Superhighway

Preliminary work began this week on the long-awaited foot and cycle bridge between Eynesbury and Eaton Socon, dubbed the “Chav Superhighway”. Residents of the Shakespeare Road area were said to be worried about the high through traffic the bridge, which [Read More]

Councillors Forced Apart

Councillors Forced Apart

Warring Tory and Lib Dem town councillors were this week told that as they cannot play nicely, they were going to be kept separate from now on. St Neots will be split into two sections – the “West Side”, containing the Eatons, and the “East [Read More]

Tesco “Still Not Mothership” Says Retailer

Tesco “Still Not Mothership” Says Retailer

Supermarket giant Tesco today hit out at repeated claims that its St Neots store was “some kind of alien mothership”. Since this story was published in the Citizen six years ago, the chain has been dogged by claims of alien involvement. “This has simply [Read More]

Empty Shop Developers Enter New Market

Empty Shop Developers Enter New Market

Local developers are having to expand into new business areas as demand for empty shops wanes, it was reported today. One of St Neots’ oldest and proudest traditions is the building, and importing, of empty shops into the High Street and Market Square. Typically these [Read More]

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This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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