Tag Archive

White Elephant May Be Grey

By Francisco Sanchez

Rumours currently circulating St Neots have it that the white elephant building at Alpha Park, Eaton Socon – otherwise known as “that shit-off massive empty warehouse” – may not be so white after all. Beatty Broadband, director of the St Neots Rumour Mill and Chinese Whisper Distribution Depot, today said that the company often... »

Carpark Sponsored By Tesco

By A.J Oke

Tesco has won the sponsership deal to the Eaton Socon Car park. That car park was closed by councillors recently due to it’s bad state. The current sponsors St Mary’s church were up in arms. Rev Lovegod said, “Its was a shame to lose our – I mean, the community car parking here. But... »

Conservationists Up In Arms Over Car Park

By Adam Douglas

Local historians and conservationists were today up in arms following a recent town council decision to repair the church car park in Eaton Socon. The car park has been in a terrible state for years and was closed by the council on safety grounds. However, local resident and chairman of the local history group... »

Company Begs Council To Reconsider

By Citizen Editor

Northampton-based traffic calming company Dog’s Bollards has begged St Neots Town Council to consider traffic calming Nelson Road as a priority. The firm supplies and installs speed humps, barriers and bollards, mini roundabouts and all other types of traffic calming, as well as traffic lights and cycle lanes. But the economic downturn has hit... »

Traffic Calming By Investigation

By Flaming Reporter

With the current economic climate and a tighter budget the council have announced they’re looking into the cost of traffic calming methods for Nelson Road. The announcement comes after traffic surveys along the road have revealed that many people use the road and most drive at or below the speed limit. Councillor Miles explained:... »

New Facebook Blamed For Pub Disappearance

By Citizen Editor

The new layout of social networking site Facebook, launched earlier this year, has been blamed for the recent disappearance of listed Eaton Socon pub The Bell. Thousands of users got very upset when the site made using the new layout compulsory, when previously they could switch back to their preferred “old” layout. The situation... »

New Speeding Measures In Nelson Road

By Citizen Editor

Motorists speeding along Nelson Road are in for a shock. The council is installing the first ‘road points’ system. Those exceeding the limit will find the road switched to an exit ramp joining the A1 Councillor Steven Bakander said “They will find themselves redirected to an environment more appropriate to their speed.” Garry Wembley... »

Entrepreneurs Relocate To Area

By Citizen Editor

The BBC today announced that its popular show Dragons Den will be relocated to a farm just outside Ramsey – and renamed Dragons Fen. The TV Dragons, all millionaires, currently convene weekly in a London warehouse with an pointless economics reporter and massive clock in the basement. However, due to the credit crunch they... »

KFC Rumours Renewed

By Citizen Editor

A popular St Neots rumour, regarding KFC building a fast-food restaurant on the site of the Bell in Eaton Socon, has resurfaced in this weeks local press. Dale E. Goszyp, of the St Neots Chinese Whispers Distribution Depot, said, “We’ve been perpetuating this rumour for years, and decided it was time to start it... »

Pub Relocated According To Residents

By Citizen Editor

Locals were surprised to read in a local paper this week that the Waggon and Horses, which last week was “accidentally” turned into a drive-thru, is apparently now located in Nelson Road. The front page of the Town Crier this week carried a story covering Collingwood Road resident Gordon Bennett’s plea for drivers to... »