Your Premier Local News Resource
Thursday June 20th 2013

Posts Tagged ‘Election 2010’

Huntingdon Count Starts Late

Huntingdon Count Starts Late

Counting Huntingdon constituency’s votes in the farcical 2010 General Election has just started, reports the BBC. The polls closed at 10pm last night, with two seats in Sunderland declaring within the first hour. Huntingdon’s count, however, did not start until [Read More]

Lib Dem Posters Cause Confusion

Lib Dem Posters Cause Confusion

A local Lib Dem attempt to simplify electoral posters has back fired in spectacular fashion, it was revealed yesterday. Long and complicated second names like Gdnagley and van der Whitevandriver van der Whitevandriverman van der Whitevandriver have lead to a plague of [Read More]

Tory Petition To Feature In New Exhibition

Tory Petition To Feature In New Exhibition

St Neots museum today announced a new exhibition of famous myths and legends and the Conservatives “much trumpeted” car park petition is to feature as one of the main attractions. Museum curator Arthur Archive commented “This exhibition is an exciting display of [Read More]

Tories Confident Eynesbury Seat Is Safe

Tories Confident Eynesbury Seat Is Safe

The St Neots Conservative group (SNCG) are so confident they can keep the Eynesbury seat in the District Elections they have nominated a resident of Grafham. When asked why had they (SNCG) had nominated someone from so far afield, Cllr Paul Marcel replied [Read More]

WVM Promises New Fences For All

WVM Promises New Fences For All

Liberal Democrat councillor Steve van der Whitevanman has promised new fences if re-elected – but only for Eynesbury residents. Cllr vn der Whitevanman has a long-standing history with fences after campaigning tirelessly for a new one at the Cambridge Street / [Read More]

Ballot Papers Too Short For Steve

Ballot Papers Too Short For Steve

Eynesbury Lib Dem councillor Steven van der Whitevanman was under pressure today to change his name by deedpoll to something a little shorter. Whitevanman, whose full name is Steven van der Whitevandriver van der Whitevandriverman van der Whitevandriver, came under attack [Read More]

Monster Raving Looneys Far Too Sensible

Monster Raving Looneys Far Too Sensible

The local candidate for the Monster Raving Looney party, Lord Ropey Rug, was today declared “far too sensible” by members of the less-interesting parties. “The Looney’s are supposed to come up with some really amusing – but unrealistic – [Read More]

Town To Abandon Pound?

Town To Abandon Pound?

It was sensationally revealed tonight that, if elected, the Lib Dems plan to opt St Neots out of the United Kingdom’s currency, the Great British Pound. “The quid is a bit of an outdated concept,” said Steve van der Whitevanman at this evening’s [Read More]

This Just In

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

Champagne Shoplifter “Had No Taste”

Champagne Shoplifter “Had No Taste”

Local supermarket managers have spoken out about the recent spate of theft of sparkly French booze, revealing that the [Read More]

Shock At Lasagne Meat Content

Shock At Lasagne Meat Content

St Neots’ frozen food connoisseurs were outraged today after it was revealed that some Findus lasagnes may only [Read More]

Microfiche

Subscribe