Posts Tagged ‘Election’
Candidates Quiet As Election Day Dawns
The Citizen were surprised that local councillors had been surprisingly quiet in the run-up to today’s elections. Only Militant Steve van der Whitevanman and Conservative opponent Harry “R” Rogerson had anything new to say, with the rest of the councillors [Read More]
Councillor Re-Brands!
“Opal Fruits” became “Starburst” and “Marathon” turned into “Snickers”. The marvellous “JIF” is now “CIF”! All lame attempts to increase the profile of the product and the latest ruse by genial local [Read More]
St Neots Trials Alternative Alternative Vote
The town council today announced that from the next by-elections, it will trial the new Alternative Alternatvie Vote system. The Government was last week voting on a referendum to change the system for general elections to AV, where votes for the least-popular candidate are [Read More]
Tories Confident Eynesbury Seat Is Safe
The St Neots Conservative group (SNCG) are so confident they can keep the Eynesbury seat in the District Elections they have nominated a resident of Grafham. When asked why had they (SNCG) had nominated someone from so far afield, Cllr Paul Marcel replied [Read More]
Monster Raving Looneys Far Too Sensible
The local candidate for the Monster Raving Looney party, Lord Ropey Rug, was today declared “far too sensible” by members of the less-interesting parties. “The Looney’s are supposed to come up with some really amusing – but unrealistic – [Read More]
Lib Dems Secretly Win Secret Election
The Town Council's ruling Liberal Democrats were secretly celebrating this week after a secretive victory in a secret election. Van der Steven promised to be accessible to the people of Eynesbury via a premium-rate number. "It's a good plan this," he commented [Read More]
Town Council Rethink On Election Strategy
The Citizen understands that the Town Council has appointed the team that brought a landslide Democrat victory in the USA to run its next election campaign. In a stunning move to outflank opposition contenders changes to party representatives have already started. The [Read More]
