Posts Tagged ‘End Of The Known Universe’
Written by Citizen Editor on 27 January 2011
Local councillors have teamed up with “Expert Scientists” in an attempt to attract new businesses to the town’s increasingly empty industrial estates. In a statement today (Thursday), council leader Julia Wayward revealed that, [Click to read more...]
Written by Citizen Editor on 10 March 2010
Scientists at research outfit CERN, whose Large Hadron Collider was rumoured last year to be underneath St Neots, have come under fire again from residents in the Humberley Close area, who are concerned their houses are shrinking. “My house is [Click to read more...]
Written by Citizen Editor on 11 July 2009
A large hole has appeared in the centre of St Neots, causing concern and outrage amongst local traders.
The hole materialised over night last week and there was initially some confusion amongst local councillors that it might be the same one that [Click to read more...]
Written by Citizen Editor on 07 December 2008
The new layout of social networking site Facebook, launched earlier this year, has been blamed for the recent disappearance of listed Eaton Socon pub The Bell. Thousands of users got very upset when the site made using the new layout compulsory, [Click to read more...]
Written by Citizen Editor on 22 November 2008
St Neots Town Council are hoping to alter time and possibly reality, by staging the 2007 Christmas lights switch-on this week. Last year, there was no lighting ceremony after a set of lights fell on a pedestrian’s head. But a spokesman for the [Click to read more...]
Written by Citizen Editor on 11 October 2008
The St Neots Citizen finally resumed publishing today after St Neots successfully escaped from the 1950′s. The town had been stuck in the past for over a week following a small power cut. Local man Danny Saunders, 22, said he did not enjoy his [Click to read more...]
Written by Citizen Editor on 28 September 2008
Scientists at CERN, the Swiss research facility responsible for the failed Big Bang Machines, have stunned St Neots residents by revealing that the town may not, as was previously believed, be the absolute centre of the universe. During an incident [Click to read more...]
Written by Citizen Editor on 15 September 2008
CERN today re-iterated that their so-called “Big Bang Machine” had nothing to do with sex. Since like week bad jokes about the LHC, previously rumoured to be underneath St Neots, have proliferated in both internet and graffiti form. [Click to read more...]
Written by Citizen Editor on 09 September 2008
Ten years ago the AA attempted to rid the world of St Neots by literally wiping it off the map. Fortunately, life does not immitate cartography and the town survived. However, now a new and much more real threat presents itself in the form of the [Click to read more...]