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Friday August 18th 2017

Posts Tagged ‘Eynesbury’

Town Misses Torch

Town Misses Torch

St Neots residents today realised that they had definitely been bypassed by the Olympic torch relay, despite the flaming article in question having travelled through St Ives and Huntingdon nearly a week ago. Tens of people turned out in the county’s two smaller towns to [Read More]

Chav Superhighway Funding Exclusive

Chav Superhighway Funding Exclusive

As the bridge is opened over the Great Ouse, St Neots Citizen has uncovered the missing funding donor for the Eynesbury to Eatons Chav Superhighway. It appears that the unaccounted-for money, to the tune of a Rowley Million, has been put forward by a consortium made up of [Read More]

Lack Of Superhighway Upsets Chavs

Lack Of Superhighway Upsets Chavs

New resident in town Chardonnay-Leigh bemoans the yet-unfinished bridge. Will it drag on as long as the busway? [Read More]

Eastsiders Upset About Hedge

Eastsiders Upset About Hedge

Broadwalk residents had a good old whinge yesterday about trees that were put up to block out floodlights that they had previously had a good old whinge about. The infamous Leyland Cyprus hedge was planted behind Eynesbury Rovers’ football ground after neighbours [Read More]

Dream Job Dilemma

Dream Job Dilemma

Dear Dave, I have a dilemma. I have been offered my Dream Job. But the location is bound to cause a problem with my family and friends. I got temporary work in a factory in Cromwell Road, It went really well, ending up being full time . The agency put me forward for a [Read More]

Merger Talks Break Down

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Merger Talks Break Down

Discussions of a merger between St Neots and it’s inferior neighbours Huntingdon and St Ives today ended without conclusion after councillors cited ‘irreconcilable differences’. The Citizen reported on the merger last month, with councillors Marcel and van [Read More]

Bit Of Grass Gains Name

Bit Of Grass Gains Name

A shortcut which runs from Eynesbury Manor to Eaton Socon has been given a name, complete with proper street sign. The rubbish bit of grass and hardcore-covered pathway, which includes a playground otherwise known as Friday nights’ second-best chav socialisation [Read More]

Estates Demand Own Signs

Estates Demand Own Signs

Local developments Eynesbury Manor and Love’s Farm have got all jealous of the lovely hand-carved wooden ‘village’ signs found in the more traditional four sections of St Neots. Eaton Ford, Eaton Socon and Eynesbury have at various times in the last twenty [Read More]

Councillors Demand Equal Airtime

Councillors Demand Equal Airtime

Town councillors from both sides of the river have hit out at local newspapers, including the Citizen, for concentrating too hard on certain of their colleagues. Councillor Oliver Barford, who represents Eaton Socon, said “I’m fucking sick of hearing about Julia [Read More]

No-One Surprised As Eastside Tops Crime Charts

No-One Surprised As Eastside Tops Crime Charts

Residents of Eaton Ford and Eaton Socon today expressed a lack of surprise that down-at-heel neighbour Eynesbury topped the crime statistics in a new “street-level crime map” by the police. Rozzers caused consternation in Cambridge when their new barely-working [Read More]

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This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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