Tag Archive
WVM Promises New Fences For All
Liberal Democrat councillor Steve van der Whitevanman has promised new fences if re-elected – but only for Eynesbury residents. Cllr vn der Whitevanman has a long-standing history with fences after campaigning tirelessly for a new one at the Cambridge Street / Sandfields Road junction last year. Now the councillor hopes to win votes by... »
Scientists Sinking Streets?
Scientists at research outfit CERN, whose Large Hadron Collider was rumoured last year to be underneath St Neots, have come under fire again from residents in the Humberley Close area, who are concerned their houses are shrinking. “My house is cracking up,” said Burnt Close resident Sarah Camistic, “and if it goes on much... »
Mystery Chav Gets Restraining Order
A mysterious chav who no-one can name or identify has been handed a restraining order to ensure he stays the fuck out of Dodge. In fact, commenters on a local web forum were today at a loss to describe the person who has only been described in the news as “a man, or woman,... »
Two Year Restraining Order Placed On Eynesbury Councillor
A two year restraining order has been placed on an Eynesbury councillor convicted of thinking in a public place. The councillor, who cannot be named, pleaded guilty to one case of thinking for himself and another two counts of harassment by dangerous thinking. The charges were brought against him after a number of incidents... »
Local Ghosthunters Claim Dibnah Sighting
A team of local ghost hunters were claiming to have seen an apparition of the late Fred Dibnah after a séance at the recently vacated ATS site on Brook Street. The team had been called in by local historian Henry Tibbut and Town Councillor Steve van de whitevanman to investigate the historical significance of... »
Residents Demand Name Change
Residents of St Neots second-newest estate, otherwise known as a development, Eynesbury Manor, are demanding a change of name for the area after homeowners and tenants on Cambridge’s Arbury Park achieved a similar victory. Not wishing to be associated with the notorious North Cambridge estate, a resident’s group on the new site, sandwiched between... »
Monday Opinions: What’s Pissing You Off This Week
In a new recurring series that will run as long as we can be bothered with it, the Citizen went out and about in St Neots over the weekend to find out what is getting your backs up this week. Number one on your hitlist is still the debacle over the St Neots cinema.... »
Eynesbury Razed To Ground While Cops Natter
Urban St Neots Eastside wasteland Eynesbury was set fire to last Monday evening. Beginning in a half full blue wheelie bin, the fire quickly took hold and burnt out the last 3 remaining working motors in Mallard Lane. From then on it was difficult to tell which was derelict property and which had been... »
"Eynesbury On The Up" Nothing To Do With George Clooney
St Neots Town Council today denied reports that the Eynesbury On The Up campaign was anything to do with stilts and Oceans Twelve. Recent advertisements for an event Ernulf this weekend say that “Eynesbury is on the up and local residents, with support from Luminus Group, are staging a day of fun and information... »
"On The Up" Eynesbury To Be Twinned With St Tropez
The cohesive spirit of Europe has never been better exemplified than the twinning of the trendy new cosmopolitan Eynesbury with St Tropez, in the south of France. Councillors are eagerly packing their bags for the inaugural exchange visit, however the French contingent were apparently slightly less eager to board the plane. A representative of... »
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