Tag Archive
Use For White Elephant Warehouse Finally Found
The Citizen can exclusively reveal that a use may finally have been found for the pointless empty monstrosity of a warehouse next to B&Q in Eaton Socon. For several years this vast ugly warehouse has been empty blighting the landscape for miles around. It has been suggested as a new cinema, a youth club, a... »
Illiterate Chavs Confuse "McDonalds" With "Decent Shops"
Stupid local chavs today proved themselves to be slightly thicker than previously thought, by confusing a fast-food outlet with high-quality retail emporia. St Neots “rude boy” Marly T. Murphy failed to engage brain before mouth, and leaked the following badly-spelled statement onto the otherwise pristine St Neots forum: “weve got a kfc why havnt we... »
New Facebook Blamed For Pub Disappearance
The new layout of social networking site Facebook, launched earlier this year, has been blamed for the recent disappearance of listed Eaton Socon pub The Bell. Thousands of users got very upset when the site made using the new layout compulsory, when previously they could switch back to their preferred “old” layout. The situation took a... »
St Neots Large Hadron Collider Mix Up Solved
Further to the earlier report that St Neots was home to worlds most expensive catherine wheel, The Citizen can now exclusively reveal the source of the misunderstanding. What had actually been spotted was a Small Colander Divider (SCD) in the latest Bettaware catalogue. Used to separate peas and sweet corn when being heated, this revolutionary... »
KFC Rumours Renewed
A popular St Neots rumour, regarding KFC building a fast-food restaurant on the site of the Bell in Eaton Socon, has resurfaced in this weeks local press. Dale E. Goszyp, of the St Neots Chinese Whispers Distribution Depot, said, “We’ve been perpetuating this rumour for years, and decided it was time to start it up... »
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