Posts Tagged ‘Fast Food’
Speed Limit Scheme “A Bit Daft”
Town councillors are unhappy with CCC's plans to let residents set their own speed limits. "It's a bit daft to say the least", said cllr Julia Wayward [Read More]
BK “Helping NHS”
The Burger King franchise in Addenbrookes concourse has hit back today over claims that its presence in the hospital was counter-intuitive and downright unhealthy. Chris Green, 40, who runs the franchise which is owned by the Barometer Group, said that the fast-food outlet [Read More]
Local Restauranteurs Demand Assistance
Local food purveyors Superturks Ltd have told residents it is their fault that there are not more eateries in the town. The group, which owns Market Square Café and Hotspot Chicken, has hit back at whinges by Neotians that the only non-fast-food options in town are Il [Read More]
Addicts Have New Excuse
A report in the national press today explains that some people are missing a subunit of a receptor that tells them when they have had enough nicotine, making them born smokers. Neotians are using this report to explain addiction to everything else. [Read More]
Cinema Will Include Chips
Councillors today sought to allay residents’ concerns about the planned new cinema in St Neots with an assurance that the venue will include at least two new fish and chip outlets. “Deep-fried food is, as the Citizen reported last week, a growth sector for St [Read More]
The Citizen Restaurant Review
Fancy a night out but don’t where to go? Afraid of wasting your giro on a café masquerading as a top eatery? Need help in choosing which type of cuisine to charm your bird with? We at The Citizen know how hard it can be to miss out on a shag because the waiter [Read More]
St Neots Is Big Society
Health watchdogs were said to be horrified after research revealed that St Neots is fast becoming the UK’s biggest society. Plans by Prime Minister David Cameron for us all to be a little nicer to each other seem to have been misunderstood by Neotians, who, keen to [Read More]
Use For White Elephant Warehouse Finally Found
The Citizen can exclusively reveal that a use may finally have been found for the pointless empty monstrosity of a warehouse next to B&Q in Eaton Socon. For several years this vast ugly warehouse has been empty blighting the landscape for miles around. It has been [Read More]
Illiterate Chavs Confuse “McDonalds” With “Decent Shops”
Stupid local chavs today proved themselves to be slightly thicker than previously thought, by confusing a fast-food outlet with high-quality retail emporia. St Neots “rude boy” Marly T. Murphy failed to engage brain before mouth, and leaked the following [Read More]
New Facebook Blamed For Pub Disappearance
The new layout of social networking site Facebook, launched earlier this year, has been blamed for the recent disappearance of listed Eaton Socon pub The Bell. Thousands of users got very upset when the site made using the new layout compulsory, when previously they could [Read More]
