Tag Archive
Lib Dem Posters Cause Confusion
A local Lib Dem attempt to simplify electoral posters has back fired in spectacular fashion, it was revealed yesterday. Long and complicated second names like Gdnagley and van der Whitevandriver van der Whitevandriverman van der Whitevandriver have lead to a plague of difficult to spell names displayed all over St Neots. Pre-empting this confusion, local parliamentary... »
Huntingdon No Longer Eating All The Pies
Residents of our neighbour to the north today expressed upset and dismay that St Neots seems to be roaring ahead of the former county town of late. Huntingdon is now lagging behind its “better brother” St Neots in all-important amenities such as M&S and a household tip. “This is farkin ridiculous,” slurred inebriated Thames... »
Council Blamed For Less Snow
Huntingdonshire District Council were today under fire from St Neots residents, who claimed that St Neots was not getting it’s fair share of snow. The town’s location in a geographically distinct “bowl” or dip means that the temperature in St Neots is on average 1.5º higher than Huntingdon or Cambridge, but also means that... »
St Neots To Be Renamed Huntingdon
In a surprise move St Neots Town Council has voted in favour of renaming the town Huntingdon. Council leader Julia Wayward spoke exclusively to The Citizen. “St Neots has often been neglected because all our money goes to Huntingdon, but by renaming the town we felt those fuckwits at District would put more money... »
Health Check Results Revealed
Ahead of the Health Check Report final result from the District Council – due out early 2009 – the Citizen can reveal some exclusively “obtained” information. Initial findings have shown the town’s inhabitants to be “quite sick”. Most people were unaware of the checks being carried out on them, and therefore the findings were... »
St Neots Boy Racer In Premier Driving Line-up
It seems that not only racing drivers from old, lined up in Huntingdon with the racing pedigree of Lola Cars. Local chav Wayne Thursday and his chavette girlfriend Madison were there too. When asked how he felt about being in the lineup Wayne replied, “Took a wrong turning did’n I. Me, Mad and my pug were... »
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