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Tuesday June 27th 2017

Posts Tagged ‘Huntingdon’

Booze Hounds Urged To Avoid A14

Booze Hounds Urged To Avoid A14

Local fire chief Benedict Redgate this morning asked that local alcoholics avoid the large ethanol spill currently being cleared up on the A14. A tanker carrying the pure alcohol overturned at 6.20 this morning at the Bythorn turning, west of Huntingdon. Within minutes of [Read More]

Oldies Back Anti-Speeding Plan

Oldies Back Anti-Speeding Plan

Cambridgeshire’s OAPs can once again rest easy, after the menace of sales reps and boy racers in Kev’d-up Saxos speeding through their villages is to be tackled. No longer will the county’s septegenarians need to don hi-vis jackets and stand beside the [Read More]

Local Man Overexcited By Local Infrastructure

Local Man Overexcited By Local Infrastructure

Eaton Socon resident David Norway, 32, was recovering today after a minor mental breakdown as he got too excited about the completion of local engineering projects. The Roberts Close man, who works as a drug guidance counsellor, had been away on holiday for two months, and [Read More]

Huntingdon Replaces Crack With Books

Huntingdon Replaces Crack With Books

Reports in the national press today suggest that the number of heroin and crack users in the UK is falling. “This situation is totally unacceptable,” says Warren Pearce, 22, who lives on the Oxmoor Estate’s notorious Kent Road and is the chairman of the [Read More]

Dream Job Dilemma

Dream Job Dilemma

Dear Dave, I have a dilemma. I have been offered my Dream Job. But the location is bound to cause a problem with my family and friends. I got temporary work in a factory in Cromwell Road, It went really well, ending up being full time . The agency put me forward for a [Read More]

Merger Talks Break Down

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Merger Talks Break Down

Discussions of a merger between St Neots and it’s inferior neighbours Huntingdon and St Ives today ended without conclusion after councillors cited ‘irreconcilable differences’. The Citizen reported on the merger last month, with councillors Marcel and van [Read More]

A14 Closed

A14 Closed

The county’s nightmarish A14 was closed earlier today due to an incident which possibly involved some vehicles, and maybe some livestock. [Read More]

Ouse Valley Walk Complete Says Councillor

Ouse Valley Walk Complete Says Councillor

It is now possible to walk from St Neots to Huntingdon on a bed of dog shit, says councillor Steve van de Whitevanman. After years of campaigning and moaning Cllr WVM has succeeded in pissing off enough dog walkers with his grumbling gripes that even the ones that used to [Read More]

St Neots In Merger Talks

St Neots In Merger Talks

St Neots councillors have put together a hostile takeover of Huntingdon and St Ives [Read More]

Gdnagly Boosts Local Employment

Gdnagly Boosts Local Employment

Huntingdon MP Jonathan Gdangly last night announced a revolutionary new scheme, in association with the local Chamber of Commerce, to boost employment in the south of the district. “I have persuaded local Huntingdon businesses not to move jobs to cheaper workers [Read More]

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This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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