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Saturday May 25th 2019

Posts Tagged ‘Longsands’

Local Schools Abandon Phonics For Nuspeak

Local Schools Abandon Phonics For Nuspeak

Local primary schools have announced that they will not follow Government plans to use phonics to teach children to read. A story in the national news today (Saturday) explained how children will be tested on non-words such as ‘zort’ and ‘koob’, to [Read More]

Schools Take Lead From BBC Series

Schools Take Lead From BBC Series

Single St Neots secondary school Longsands, which apparently also controls Ernulf, which is apparently called St Neots Community College, is set to conduct a ground-breaking experiment to separate male and female students. “It’s been proven that when boys and [Read More]

All Pupils Get First Choice Of One School

All Pupils Get First Choice Of One School

100% of all St Neots year 6 pupils got their first choice secondary school, it was revealed today. County, District and town councillors were cock waving all day on the results. “You see, us Tory councillors have it all worked out,” said Larry Hackman. [Read More]

Hollywood Comes To St Neots

Hollywood Comes To St Neots

Pland have been unveiled to build a large independent movie studio on land to the south of the A428, just outside St Neots. Bob Gaily from production company Going to the Flicks plc said today, “St Neots is a prime location for a new studio with centres of excellence [Read More]

This Just In

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Town Gears Up For New Complaint

Neotians were this week beginning to prepare for 2014′s predicted favourite sport – namely, complaining [Read More]

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

Councillor Definitely Didn’t Say Nazi

District and county councillor Steve van der Whitevanman caused controversy this week after he definitely didn’t [Read More]

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Shocking Horse Meat Truth Revealed

Meat experts have today shocked the British public with the real reason behind the horse DNA contamination scandal. [Read More]

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Paper Reveals Reporterless Setup

Local newspaper the Cambridge Evening News In The Morning has revealed that it is going to sack all its reporters, [Read More]

New School Thief-Proof

New School Thief-Proof

South Cambs DC have revealed that new secondary school Cambourne Village College is designed with special anti-theft [Read More]

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